Lucrezia Borgia's Salon

Here's a REAL economic stimulus package ... and just in time for Tax Day!

2009-03-25T12:45:00.003-05:00

Please sign up, pass it on, and join in your support of the FairTax ... something needs to be done, and fast, to counteract the horrendous "stimulus package" being rammed down our throats by our President and the United States Congress!

The FairTax plan is by far the most workable solution, if not the *only* solution, to what our economy is facing today, and it has been endorsed by a long list of highly respected American economists.

The principles of the FairTax plan are sound, time-tested economic principles that transcend ideology and party lines, so the plan is something most of us can get behind, no matter which side of the political fence we're on.

If you don't know a lot about it, take the time to read up on it at the website. I am sure you, too, will be convinced that it is the only way out of the heinous mess our "leaders" in Washington have put us in!!!!

Atlas Shrugged - from fiction to fact in the Age of Obama

2009-03-03T11:08:00.002-05:00

Don't say you weren't warned by this blog before he was voted into office.

"In January, Stephen Moore caused a stir by arguing, in the Wall Street Journal, that the current crisis is turning Atlas Shrugged 'from fiction to fact.' And those who are warning that increased government restrictions will cause the nation's most productive workers to withdraw their talents have taken to calling this the 'John Galt Effect,' a reference to the hero -- and the main plotline -- of Atlas Shrugged. It is no coincidence that the strongest resistance to a government takeover of the economy is coming from people influenced by Ayn Rand. She has long functioned as a stiffener of resolve and as the fountainhead of pro-free-market ideas. ...Ayn Rand's contribution to the philosophical defense of capitalism can be summed up in one central idea: individualism. Ayn Rand demonstrated that the ultimate source of all wealth -- everything from steel mills to microchips -- is the individual reasoning mind. Thus, a society that wants to prosper has to ask what is required by its thinkers and producers, the 'prime movers' who originate and implement new ideas. And the first thing that is required for these thinkers to function is that they be free from coercive interference by bureaucrats, by blowhard legislators, or by federal 'czars.' ... Ayn Rand's ideas are the mostly unnamed fuel giving fire and confidence to people like [CNBC financial analyst] Rick Santelli. ... If we're going to have an ideological Boston Tea Party, a declaration of independence from the whole theory behind state management of our lives and wealth, then Ayn Rand is the ideal philosophical hostess." --editor of The Intellectual Activist and TIADaily.com Robert Tracinski

A look out windows across the United States

2008-11-23T10:38:00.003-05:00

CNN.com asked people across the United States to submit photos of the view outside their window.

Check out their responses here.

In these troubled times, it's nice to see and participate in projects like these to force ourselves to stop and smell the roses. Enjoy.

Washington is an out of control crack whore.

2008-11-14T08:33:00.006-05:00

According to Campbell Brown's latest commentary on the financial crisis,

1) over 1/3 of the $700 billion in the September bailout package has already been spent with no oversight;
2) the so-called "oversight" that Congress had demanded as a condition for doling out the money has YET to be appointed by the White House and Capitol Hill;
3) Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is now saying he doesn't believe that the money has been spent in the right way, and he wants to re-direct the remaining 2/3;
4) ... and the inspector general of the Treasury Department, according to the Washington Post, has admitted: "It is a mess. I don't think anyone understands right now how we're going to do proper oversight of this thing."

Yes, Washington is a crack whore. And the crack rock she WILL and MUST have, come hell or high water, is our money. Billions and billions of dollars of our money.

So why do we continue to allow the crack whore to smoke billions of our money into oblivion?

Un-effing-believable! The corporate bailout feeding frenzy intensifies

2008-11-11T15:10:00.005-05:00

Um, let me see here: Amex has obtained bank status so that it, too, can get in line for bailout money, the Fed is refusing disclosure and insisting we don't need to know where our taxpayer money is going, and AIG is getting another $38 billion on top of the $85 bil they've just gotten.

At first I was so mad I couldn't even think straight, but at this point I am beyond enraged, beyond sick, beyond disgusted.

I happen to be an AMEX cardholder, so upon hearing this unconscionable news about AMEX, part of me was tempted to stop paying my American Express bill (which for the past two months HAS BEEN MORE THAN MY MORTGAGE!) so as to keep from paying them twice: once through my bill and a second time through my taxes. (As one dismayed Michelle Malkin reader noted: "I've been paying them money for years. Now I have to pay them twice?") But alas, defaulting on my AMEX bill would affect my credit. And if I chose to go the tax evasion route instead, I'd have the IRS after me.

So, really, there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. These corporations WILL have your money whether you like it or not, and guess what, neither they nor the federal government believe that you have the right to know where it's going. It's taxpayer robbery at gunpoint.

And as if that weren't enough to make you sick, here's why pork projects thrive in the Democratic Congress's spending scam. Turns out the "paygo" principle that helped them take back the majority in 2006 has been quietly dropped from their central platform and has been wantonly trampled upon ever since by both spend-happy Democrats and Republicans alike (e.g., Ted Stevens). Nice, huh?!

The only thing we can do at this point is to take note, and REMEMBER the Senators and Congressional representatives who have gone hog wild and then vote every last one of those spend-happy a-holes out in 2010. And give your local Congressional representative no peace, no rest until he or she agrees to support the Fair Tax. We MUST do these things to ensure that our country and its citizens survive this economic crisis.

Legendary South African songstress Miriam Makeba dies on stage at 76

2008-11-11T08:06:00.004-05:00

Miriam Makeba, the legendary South African songstress known as "Mama Africa" and "The Empress of African Song," died after collapsing on stage during a concert in Italy.

Makeba, who gained fame and renown worldwide, was exiled from her own country for 31 years during apartheid. In exile, she sang for such leaders as President John F. Kennedy and performed with such musical greats as Dizzy Gillespie, Nina Simone, Harry Belafonte, and Paul Simon.

In a statement issued after her death, Nelson Mandela said, "Her haunting melodies gave voice to the pain of exile and dislocation which she felt for 31 long years. At the same time, her music inspired a powerful sense of hope in all of us."

He further noted that "Whilst this great lady was alive, she would say: 'I will sing until the last day of my life.' "

She was the first African woman to win a GRAMMY Award for Best Folk Recording in 1966, along with Harry Belafonte, for "An Evening With Belafonte/Makeba." The album voiced the plight of black South Africans under apartheid.

Makeba's exile began when she starred in the anti-apartheid documentary Come Back Africa in 1959. The following year, when she attempted to come back to South Africa to attend her mother's funeral, she found that her passport had been revoked. She would not be allowed to come back to South Africa until the end of apartheid and Nelson Mandela's release from prison 30 years later.

Makeba's life in exile was not without controversy - in the early sixties she married black power activist Stokely Carmichael and decades later, supported dictators such as Togo's Gnassingbe Eyadema and the Ivory Coast's Félix Houphouet-Boigny, performing at their political campaigns even as they were brutally suppressing the democratic movements that were sweeping West Africa in the early 90s.

We played "The Click Song," one of Makeba's most famous songs, at our wedding.

Now, not just one but two famous female singers have died recently, within a week of each other. It MUST have something to do with the moon being in Scorpio ...

And now, for some word fun!

2008-11-07T16:20:00.004-05:00

No matter who you voted for in this election, I think everybody who appreciates words can get a chuckle out of this one …

The ones with an asterisk were taken from “OBAMAMANIA!: The English Language, Barackified” by the editors of Slate Magazine. The others were collected by me in my reading.

BARACKLAMATION: Executive order issued by President Obama.*

BARACKSPLOITATION: The practice among editors of putting only Barack Obama on the cover of their magazines.*

BARACKUMENTARY: Any Obama video.*

BARACTOGENARIAN: Any elderly Obama supporter.*

BIG BROBAMA: Kindly big brother Obama who wants to look out for the people behind us to give them a chance, too.

DALAI ‘BAMA: A spiritually evolved President-Elect who will lead us all to the dawn of a new spiritual age.

NOBAMA: What those who do not support Obama think of his platform.

OBAMA CLAUS: What Obama has become now that he has promised us all these goodies under the Christmas tree.

OBAMAFUSCATE: When Obama engages in a smokescreen of verbal dodgery at tough, probing questions about his associations and background.

OBAMAGANDA: Any pro-Obama news coverage.

OBAMAGASM: What Obama supporters experience when they swoon under his spell.

OBAMALOT: The utopian Obama White House, where peace, hope and change converge and there is happiness ever after.

OBAMANIAC: Any zealous Obama supporter. A/K/A OBAMANITE.

OBAMANOMICS: Obama’s proposals to turn around the U.S. economy.

OBAMA-RAMA: A flood of Obama coverage in the media, or any large show of enthusiasm by pro-Obama supporters.

OBAMATON: Any mechanical Obama supporter who, though expressing unwavering support for him, cannot name a single one of his policies. A/K/A
OBOMBIE.*

OBAMAZON: Any zealous female Obama supporter.*

OBAMERANG: The tendency for any criticism of Barack Obama to bounce back and result in the downfall of his opposers.* (I would suggest the verb BARACKFIRE. Hehe.)

OBAMESSIAH: “The One.”

OBAMIFICATION: The process whereby a significant number of red states and counties suddenly turned blue on Election Night.

OBAMINATION: What McCain supporters see Barack Obama as.

OBAMINATOR: The man who was seemingly unstoppable in his campaign and rolled to victory in the election.

OBOMENON: The Barack Obama phenomenon.*

O-ZONE: The vital ether that Obama devotees must breathe in order to survive.

Random Thoughts on the 2008 Election Results

2008-11-05T08:50:00.010-05:00

Obama's supporters can now change their slogan from "Yes, we can!" to "Yes, we DID!": Winning by the biggest Democratic margin since the mid-60s, and taking many states and counties that had been staunchly red for years if not decades, Barack Hussein Obama is now the President-Elect of the United States of America.

I wish to extend my sincere congratulations to the African-American community on this occasion for this monumental achievement which, as NPR political commentator Juan Williams put it, was inconceivable for many African-Americans, including himself, even as recently as a year ago.

With Obama holding distinct margins in many significant voter segments - young, women, whites, blacks, Hispanics, new/first-time voters, undecideds - and with the post-racial, let's-bring-the-country-together approach he has used toward the general voting public, it is clear that this country as a whole has indeed begun to move beyond race and is starting to become a post-racial society. Thus rendering race warlords like Jesse Jackson completely obsolete. (As Booker T. Washington wrote: "There is a class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs. There is a certain class of race-problem solvers who don't want the patient to get well.") Jackson has known for some time that the end was near - hence his muttered comment this summer that he wanted to "cut [Obama's] nuts off," unaware that the lapel microphone he was wearing was still very much on.

Now, it will be very interesting to see exactly what kind of President Obama will be - what stuff he is truly made of. While I would agree that he is definitely untested, he is not unknowable, an unknown quantity as pundits on both the left and right have argued. His background and history have been there for all to see, from the reminiscences he shares in his books about the Marxist, Communist, Socialist and Radical mentors he had and friendships he cultivated during his teenage, college and law school years, to his voting record, which has been the most liberal in U.S. Senate history - even left of Bernie Sanders (S-VT), a Socialist. We all know exactly what we're getting there, or at least we should. But if, as the chief executive of a country that is largely moderate/centrist to center right, he insists on imposing his hard-left ideologies upon it, he's just going to alienate a whole lotta people: that large minority of people who voted for McCain and who could easily vote Repubs back into Congress in droves in two years if he screws up. And he knows it. He'll have to refrain from over-reaching, no matter how loudly the firebrands who support him on the far left in Congress and elsewhere scream at him to do this or that. Because even though the Repubs got their clocks cleaned, there are still enough of 'em in the Senate to block any legislation that is over-the-top. If they ever absorb the lessons learned, find their brains and balls again and decide to return to the basic principles they abandoned when they started acting like the Democrats in abandonment of all fiscal and governmental restraints, that is.

But whether Obama actually WILL move to the center, like Clinton wisely did during his 8-year administration, or, at the left's behest, ram through onerous and ill-conceived policies that nobody would agree with continuing once their ruinous effects are felt, remains to be seen.

As concerned as I am about what the Obama Administration will do domestically, there are at least some saving graces there, like the ones I listed above, that will hopefully soften the blows. I am even more concerned about what the Obama Administration will do (or fail to do) abroad, because there's no safety net there. His artless, naïve comments about invading Pakistan and meeting dictators "without preconditions," the fact that he has OVER THREE HUNDRED foreign policy advisers, etc. the fact that our enemies - our enemies! - are endorsing him, should have been enough to give anyone pause. But with the economic meltdown, it's all about the economy now. The American people are no longer thinking about how the Chief Executive-Elect will be handling (or not) the War on Terror, Islamic radicalism, or any of the other issues raging around the world right now. Their fear over what will become of their wallets has drowned out all other concerns, so that they no longer care about what's going on in the world beyond their borders, except, perhaps, what foreign countries "think" of us. But these issues are still there, and must be addressed; and whether our new President will be coming at them from the left, right, or center, they must be addressed in a consistent, coherent, decisive fashion to promote national and world security, prevent further chaos, and strengthen our partnerships among our trusted allies. How will someone with OVER THREE HUNDRED foreign policy advisers come up with the strong, consistent, coherent, decisive foreign policy that the United States needs??

Don't know? Me neither. I certainly hope Obama will be able to enlighten us and show us how it can be done.

Anyway ... we will see.

Talented Singer Yma Sumac Dies at 86

2008-11-03T20:04:00.012-05:00

The amazingly talented Peruvian singer Yma Sumac has passed away at the age of 86.

Born in Cajamarca, Peru in 1922, as Zoila Augusta Emperatriz Chavarri del Castillo, she claimed to be a descendant of the Incan emperor Atahualpa, and around this legend she constructed an exotic, mysterious image as an Incan princess, which she cultivated for decades. Her stage name was first Ymma Sumack (Quechua for "pretty flower"), which was later changed to Yma Sumac when she came to the United States and signed her first recording contract with Capitol Records in 1950. Her voice covered 4 1/2 octaves.

Some sources credit her with singing the highest note ever recorded in the female voice, in the track "Chuncho" on one of the many LPs she produced in her heyday during the 1950s.

She is responsible for introducing Peruvian folk music to an American audience and the world music scene in general, and intepreting it for a modern audience in her own entrancing style.

I am pleased to say my mom introduced me to her when I was a kid. One night when I was sitting in front of the TV, we came to a channel that was airing Secret of the Incas with Yma and Charlton Heston, and I still remember how excited my mom got when Yma Sumac made her appearance. "Ooo! ooo! There's Yma Sumac. Listen to her sing! Isn't she somethin'?"

I giggled at her campy kookiness but, like my mother, I was entranced by her voice, which she could fashion into a warbling nightingale with one note and into a growling jungle cat the next. I'd never heard anyone do anything like that with their voice before, and have never heard anything like it since.

Que descanse en paz.

Stop yer bitchin' and deal with the voting wait!

2008-11-01T11:02:00.002-05:00

From Campbell Brown's commentary, "Wait is small price to pay for voting":

"So what if you have to wait a few hours? I was in Baghdad for the first Iraqi elections. Remember that? Bombs were going off, and all those people were showing up to get that purple ink stain on their finger. We can all certainly suck it up for a couple of hours if we have to." (Click here to read the full commentary)

Can I get an AMEN, people?

Brown's commentary merely echoes what I've been saying and thinking for years - that in certain other countries, people risk being killed, raped, tortured or imprisoned when they venture out to vote, and in many cases, if they do manage to make it through the gunfire, intimidation from corrupt election workers, etc. to get to the ballot box, their vote ends up counting for naught because of corrupt election practices such as ballot box stuffing and voter fraud.

We've got it GREAT in this country compared to them.

So, don't you bitch about the wait being too long at the polls. There but for the grace of God were you born in this country instead of somewhere else, and you could be one of these poor shmucks running through a hail of flying bullets to get to the ballot box.

Obama Claus

2008-10-31T21:30:00.003-05:00

A great article by ABC News Senior National Correspondent Jake Tapper.

"Once you get past the soaring oratory, to experience a speech by Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., is to be hit with an astoundingly lengthy list of promises.

"I don't know how any reasonable person" could think he'd really be able to accomplish everything he's pledging to do, said the mother-in-law of a colleague, a Missouri woman who intends to vote for Obama.

Just today in Sarasota, Fla., the Democratic presidential nominee said that he'd: ..." Click here to read more.

Below Tapper's article was a compelling argument posted by a reader, Dr_Applebreath, that got my attention:

"How Reason Works

What if Obama had the strongest record of bipartisanship in the Senate, with major bills to his credit like the 2002 McCain-Feingold campaign reform, the 2003 McCain-Lieberman climate stewardship and the 2007 McCain-Kennedy immigration reform acts.
What if McCain had the most extreme partisan voting record in the Senate?

What if Obama offered a broad, sensible energy policy that embraced both emerging and current resources, including building the greenest power plants possible with nukes?

What if McCain declared that the nuclear waste technology we've invested hundreds of billions in over the last three decades is unacceptable, and refused to build nukes until we invent something better than Yucca Mountain?

What if Obama offered sensible tax policies that have historically led to healthy business growth and financial freedom for more Americans?

What if McCain promised to cut taxes for 95% of us while proposing almost a trillion dollars in new spending?

What if Obama had called for reform and oversight of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in 2006 that could have prevented the current financial collapse, only to have his efforts squashed by the opposition party?

What if McCain was the second highest recipient of political donations from Fannie and Freddie in his short Senate career, and had the former head of Freddie heading up his VP-vetting team, and the WaPo published the fact that the disgraced former head of Fannie was a financial advisor to his campaign?

What if Obama had been the leading supporter of the surge strategy that has won the war in Iraq?

What if McCain's primary claim to fame was his leading the charge to lose the war by withdrawing all our forces in Iraq where Al Qaeda declared their new caliphate?

What if Michelle Obama devoted her time and wealth to charitable organizations over the last couple of decades, and she adopted a Bangladeshi girl with a cleft palate on a visit to one of Mother Teresa's orphanages?

What if Cindy McCain got a $200,000 raise in her job as a Community Relations Director in a hospital when her husband became a Senator, and once in the Senate her husband put in a $1M earmark for her employer U of Chi Hospital, and she declared that when her husband won the nomination for Presidency was the first time she was really proud of her country?

What if Joe Biden had a proven record of opposing his own party and winning, and confronting Big Oil and winning, and sharing the revenues he levied on Big Oil with the citizens of his state?

What if Sarah Palin imagined we and the French "kicked Hezbollah out of Lebanon" and said President Roosevelt "went on TV in 1929" (before TV existed) to talk to Americans about the Depression (before FDR became President in 1933)?

Well, hell, I'd vote for Obama. There's nothing racist about it."

Heh, heh. Things are getting even more interesting than I thought!

Senator Obama's Four Tax Increases for People Earning Under $250K

2008-10-28T21:46:00.004-05:00

A very good article by Ned Barnett in The American Thinker that pinpoints four major discrepancies/lies in Obama's "No Tax Increase for People Earning Under $250K" tax plan.

"I worked as the state level media and strategy director on three Presidential election campaigns -- I know how "promises" work -- so I analyzed Senator Obama's promises by looking for loopholes.

"The first loophole was easy to find: Senator Obama doesn't 'count' allowing the Bush tax cuts to lapse as a tax increase. Unless the cuts are re-enacted, rates will automatically return to the 2000 level. Senator Obama claims that letting a tax cut lapse -- allowing the rates to return to a higher levels -- is not actually a 'tax increase.' It's just the lapsing of a tax cut.

"See the difference?

"Neither do I."

Click here to read the full article.

And now for some political humor ...

2008-10-23T11:48:00.005-05:00

I think voters on both sides can appreciate this one!

Presidential Character in the 2008 Race

2008-10-20T09:37:00.003-05:00

A very thought-provoking article by Mark Alexander, the editor of PatriotPost, a conservative journal. Forward it to every Obama supporter and undecided voter you know.

"In his Inaugural Address on 20 January, 1961, President John F. Kennedy closed his remarks with these famous words: 'And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.'

"With those words, JFK, considered by many to be the most exemplary leader of the Democrat Party in the 20th Century, asked Americans to put country first, a bedrock principle of the Party until the last few decades.

"However, today, the current slate of Democrats have turned Jack Kennedy's national challenge on end, essentially proclaiming, 'ask what your country can do for you, not what you can do for your country.' "

Click here to read the full article

Rags to Bitches - "Worst-Dressed" Critic Richard Blackwell Dies

2008-10-20T08:44:00.005-05:00

Even as a kid, I read this guy's Worst-Dressed list with great relish ... his catty comments always made me laugh and forget my worries for a while, because even when I was in my awkward stage and other kids were making fun of me, I could always comfort myself with the thought that hey, at least I wasn't Sharon Stone and Blackwell had just dubbed me an "over-the-hill Cruella DeVille" to the Hollywood media ...

As revealed by Blackwell in his autobio Rags to Bitches, he spent his troubled childhood as a truant, thief and prostitute. Which goes to show you that when he asserted that a Hollywood star looked like a hooker, he knew what he was talking about!!!

Barack Obama's War on Black America

2008-10-17T10:16:00.003-05:00

Yes, believe it or not, that's actually the title of this article written by Andrew Walden for Pajamas Media.

"Polls show most African-American voters will be casting their ballots for Barack Obama on November 4. The first opportunity to elect a black person as president is tempting. But black Americans will be paying a price, and Obama’s record gives a clear indication of what that price will be. Obama and his cronies have a long record of profiting from funds intended to aid black people. The intended beneficiaries have nothing to show for it other than Obama’s political ascent.

"The Boston Globe on June 27 exposed the thousands of so-called affordable housing units built cheaply in Chicago by developers backed by Illinois and federal tax subsidies championed by Barack Obama. Sewage flows through many units; others are burned out with roofs caving in. Due to neglect by owners tied to the Obama campaign, many have been slated for demolition.

"Dual U.S.-Syrian citizen Tony Rezko — an early-money fundraiser who bundled as much as $200,000 for Obama’s campaigns — rehabbed hundreds of “affordable” housing units in and around Obama’s State Senate district and then refused to manage them. Rezko is now facing sentencing on several federal felony counts of soliciting bribes, fraud, and money laundering. His units now face demolition."

To read the complete article, click here.

New York Post and WSJ: The Truth About Obama's Tax Plan

2008-10-16T19:12:00.006-05:00

New York Post: "OBAMA TELLS THE TAX TRUTH"

"An unscripted moment with an Ohio plumber produced a startling confession from Barack Obama Sunday: The Democrat's 'middle-class tax cut' is in fact a scheme to 'spread the wealth around.' Obama dropped the mask long enough to tell the truth to Toledo plumber Joe Wurzelbacher - who had asked the Democratic nominee why he wanted to jack up his taxes just for 'fulfilling the American dream.' 'I'm getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year,'
Wurzelbacher had told Obama. 'Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?' 'It's not that I want to punish your success,' Obama replied. 'I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance for success, too . . . When you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody.' At last! The truth is out!"

Click here to read the New York Post article

New York Post: "Lessons from the Plumber"

Who was the winner in last night's Presidential debate? Joe Wurzelbacher, a/k/a "Joe the Plumber," that's who.

Click here to read the New York Post article

Wall Street Journal: "Obama's 95% Illusion"

Obama's 'tax cut' for 95% of Americans? Depends on what the meaning of 'tax cut' is.

Click here to read the WSJ article

Questions about Obama's Citizenship

2008-10-16T08:23:00.006-05:00

From an article by Thomas Lifson, editor and publisher of American Thinker, a conservative Web site:

"A lifelong Democrat who has held political office and been a Pennsylvania state committeeman, Philip Berg, has brought suit over the real questions raised by the absence of a valid Obama birth certificate. His narrative of the various questions Obama has refused to answer is devastating. Graphics and sound are well-deployed to avoid tedium as data is conveyed in a way that allows viewers to absorb it. ... he contrasts Obama's behavior when challenged (use perfectly valid legal technicalities to delay) with John McCain's full disclosure of all documentary evidence under a similar challenge (remember the flap over his birth in the Panama Canal Zone? -- who raised those questions, anyway?) ...

"The only way Obama can satisfactorily respond is to release his supposed Hawaiian birth certificate. If he has it, why hasn't he released it? If he does release it, game over. So why drag this out on technical grounds? It doesn't make sense."

Although Obama has vehemently dismissed the citizenship flap on his Web site, he has yet to provide the court with documentation proving his U.S. citizenship.

Could this video, which interviews Berg and presents the arguments of his Federal lawsuit, be the 2008 Presidential race's "October surprise"?

I for one find it extremely interesting that Berg is a lifelong Democrat, yet has quite vociferously taken the DNC to task for not properly vetting its candidate.

Viking

2008-10-15T14:43:00.007-05:00

Well, we’re now dog owners!

It may come as a shocker to some of you, especially those of you who know I’ve had only one pet for the past 14 years – a bitchy, psychotic old cat named Wee Wee – but the truth is I’ve always liked dogs, and even though I’ve been severely bitten in the face by one, I didn’t allow that incident to foster a fear of them, as there are no bad dogs, only bad owners. In fact, I would’ve adopted one long before now if the Wee weren’t so possessive of me, but I didn’t want to deal with the hell I knew he’d give me if I brought another cat or dog in the house, not to mention the hell he’d give the poor kitty or pooch. (On two occasions, I attempted to adopt other cats – a kitten named Audrey and a grown female Calico named Lindy – but the Wee bullied them both so viciously I had to place them with other people. It took him an entire year to get to the point where he tolerated my husband and could hang out in the same room with him calmly and quietly without yowling or hissing, even though he’ll never exactly consider Josh as his buddy.)

So, all these years I’ve been content to play “auntie” to all my girlfriends’ dogs without adopting one myself. Until a few days ago, when a friend of a friend who works with Animal Action Rescue here in the Atlanta area was circulating an e-mail to see if anyone was available to give a 12-year-old mutt named Red a loving home. Some family’d had him for 9 years and abandoned him at their vet clinic when they moved to another city – dropped him off, ostensibly to give him his annual shots, and never picked him up. Indeed, they never even bothered to call the clinic to say “Oh, by the way, we aren’t picking him up” until after they’d moved to their new destination. Curious, I took a look at his photo, and something in his eyes and his sweet, hopeful old punim just made me melt. I decided I wanted to adopt him -- tough for the Wee, he’d just have to learn to deal.

Red ended up going to another couple, but the very next day, the rescue volunteer sent me info on another dog, a blind yellow Lab named Viking. Viking had been abandoned at Cobb County Animal Control by his owner, and since they keep animals for only 7 days before euthanizing them and nobody wants special-needs animals, he didn’t have much of a chance of being adopted before his time ran out. So Josh and I talked about it, and the next day we brought him home. Viking is remarkably well-trained and so gentle, friendly, sweet and good around humans and other dogs (he understands all the basic commands and doesn’t even flinch when he gets a shot) that we can’t understand how anyone could have given him up like that. I suppose it’s because he went blind, but according to my vet, dogs who are blind can lead a perfectly normal, happy life with just a little more understanding, patience, and training, and there are only a few VERY minor accommodations you need to make when caring for a blind dog.) His one issue is that he suffers from serious separation anxiety whenever we go out somewhere, which is totally understandable because he’s terrified of being abandoned again, and he’s blind (duh). We are confident that this will resolve with time, training and patience.

As for the Wee, well, he was horribly upset the first couple of weeks, which was expected. He flat-out tried to attack Viking twice, but we stopped it both times with a squirt of water right in Wee’s kisser and he hasn’t tried again. He just wasn’t getting it that Viking was blind and not a threat to him. But I think he’s finally starting to trust that Viking isn’t going to hurt him. Now he hangs out in the same room with him without freaking out or hissing at him unless Viking inadvertently stumbles into his space, which is inevitable from time to time, but I’m always at the ready to squirt the Wee with water the second he starts hissing and/or stick him on a table or shelf at a higher level so he can feel more secure and observe where Viking is and what’s going on in different parts of the room. And Viking, for his part, backs off immediately as soon as he hears him hiss. So far, things are working well. Stay tuned …

Happy People Dancing on Planet Earth

2008-09-18T21:39:00.006-05:00

I DARE you to watch this video without smiling.

Don't miss the part done in the DMZ of North Korea. Atlanta's Centennial Olympic Park Fountain even gets a spot.

Enjoy!

Lights out? Experts fear fireflies are dwindling

2008-09-01T09:58:00.005-05:00

This confirms the nagging suspicion I've had all these years that something has happened to the firefly population. I used to see thousands of fireflies lighting up the summer evenings during my childhood in suburban Atlanta. (We used to call them "lightning bugs," and yes, I did collect them in a jar, but always released them the following morning.) Now, I'm lucky just to see one or two every summer, and usually they aren't flying around and flashing, but are instead crawling lethargically along a wall or fence.

P. Diddy to "Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters": Lower oil prices so I can fly on private jet

2008-09-01T09:57:00.004-05:00

Oh, GOD!!!! [massive eye roll] Hey Diddy, you want a wheel of cheese with that magnum of WHINE?

Honoré: Preparedness is the answer, don't count on levees

2008-09-01T09:24:00.010-05:00

As of this writing, Hurricane Gustav has been pounding the Gulf Shores for a few hours already and New Orleans has been 90% evacuated. In a CNN interview this weekend, LtGen. Russel Honoré, a Louisiana native who led the military response during Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, warned that the levee network is not likely to hold against Gustav's onslaught. He had some very interesting things to say on preparedness in addition to the status of the levees.

Some highlights from his interview:

"The government decided that we're going to fix the levees that were broken. They have been repaired in the finest fashion. But don't think that we're going to have 100 percent protection [from the levees]. There's a limit to what you can do to protect yourself from flooding.

"People talk about the Dutch. But the Dutch don't get hurricanes. When you're dealing with a storm surge of 30 feet, you're talking about a whole different ballgame. We have over 300 miles of levees.

"I would not count on levees during a hurricane to save your life. Levees will give you early warning. If you're living behind a levee, you need to be prepared to evacuate at any time. That's Russel Honore's rule No. 1. If you live along the Mississippi River or on the Gulf Coast, rule No. 2 is: It's going to flood." ...

"We need to build a culture of preparedness. We need to assure that every kid who goes to school in America knows how to swim. The number of EMS teams and ambulances is not tracking with the growth in population. We need to teach more of our people first aid.

"The federal government ought to be there to back the states up, we need to build a culture of preparedness in each. Why are we sending people there to issue them ice and water? We should be empowering people to act locally. The key to hurricane preparation is family preparation. If families are prepared, we lose fewer lives.

"We need to create a national preparedness plan, with a local civil defense corps. We need dual trained teachers who can be disaster responders. We need to equip each high schools with satellite communications.

"We need drugstores with generators in each geographical area ... If you lose power, people can still get medicine. Gas stations along interstate highways need to have generators. We need cellphone towers that could be lowered before the storm and then raised after the storm.

For every dollar you spend in preparedness before the disaster you save $9 after the disaster."

Tagged

2008-08-30T13:39:00.003-05:00

I’ve been tagged by my friend Heike on her blog.
The rules:
1. Let others know who tagged you.
2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.
OK now, here are 8 random facts about me:

1. I hold an Intermediate Certification in Wines and Spirits from the Wine & Spirit Education Trust; one day I hope to complete the Advanced Certification program, and perhaps even the diploma program.

2. I’m taking belly dancing courses from Âya, an incredibly talented and accomplished belly dancer who performed at our wedding. Her site is www.turkishbellydancer.com.

3. I can read and understand (and therefore translate) non-technical Portuguese and Italian into English, even though I never took courses in those languages.

4. I can fold my tongue into a three-leaf clover shape.

5. Some of my favorite things are: jazz music; Sex and the City; lilies; a really good, messy burger; fresh seafood; cilantro; bok choy; vintage Benzes; the beach; the mountains; and chickadees.

6. I’m learning Jukite Ju-Jitsu from my husband, who is a Shodan (1st degree black belt) in that art.

7. I’m a terrible swimmer and absolutely hate having my head/face underwater.

8. I had to take my driver’s license test 2x because I couldn’t parallel park. My parallel parking skills have improved only slightly since then, to marginal.

Here are the 8 people I’m tagging:
…
Um … ahem … I can’t tag anybody because the friend who sent this to me is my only friend with a personal blog (all my other friends have business blogs or just a personal page on Facebook) … so sue me? :-)

Homemade "bum-busting" robot patrols downtown Atlanta

2008-04-24T07:14:00.006-05:00

Right on!
Robotic vigilante: Homemade 'Bum Bot' patrols downtown Atlanta

Free Haleh

2007-07-12T08:47:00.003-05:00

Haleh Esfandiari, 67, directs the Middle East program at Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars in Washington, D.C. After traveling to her native Iran to visit her sick mother, she was ambushed and thrown into Iran's most notorious prison (well-known for its use of torture) because, as the Iranian government claims, she is a "danger to national security." The Iranian government has refused to release her despite demands from figures ranging from Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to U.S. Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL). Reports have filtered out that she is in solitary confinement, losing weight and is not getting the medical care or medicines she needs. She hasn't even been able to talk to her attorney, 2003 Nobel Peace Prize recipient Shirin Ebadi, herself an Iranian citizen who was once thrown into the same prison for her human rights activism.

To sign letters and a petition for Haleh's release, click on the above banner or go to takeaction.amnestyusa.org.

In related news, you can sign a petition to punish the killers of Du'a Khalil Aswad, who stoned her to death in an "honor killing" for allegedly having a romance with a Muslim. Aswad belonged to a Yazidi (an ancient pre-Islamic religion) clan in the northern Kurdish region of Iraq, and her public killing was captured on cell phone video, posted on the Internet and seen by people all over the world.

Anywhere you look in the Middle East - or anywhere else in the world, for that matter - and see violence or aggressive posturing, human rights violations, underdevelopment, backwardness and repression, you will also see the local society abusing and oppressing its women. They go hand-in-hand. The real dishonor in Aswad's so-called "honor" killing is the viciously heinous behavior of her killers. There will be no peace or progress of any kind - political, diplomatic, economic, social, religious, etc. - in the Middle East unless and until every last one of its men learns to honor and respect its women.

Weapons of Ass Destruction

2007-05-18T14:39:00.005-05:00

Okay, so last week an Unidentified Ingestion Object (UIO) caused me to rip these uncontrollable toots that would make a truck driver blush. I tried my darndest to hold them in because nobody, of course, wants to smell other people's farts even if they don't mind inhaling their own bouquet.

I thought I had succeeded in safeguarding those around me from the olfactory onslaught until I was most emphatically proven wrong in the wee hours of last Saturday morning, when I was awakened from a sound sleep by my beloved fiancé, who was screaming ...

"HOLY SH*T, BABY, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EAT?!? IT SMELLS LIKE BABY SH*T AND CARROTS!"

Niiiiiiice! [in a Borat voice]

I turned over groggily to look at him. The expression on his face was this indescribable mixture of revulsion, shock, and fear. I felt bad for him, but part of me felt, I confess, gleefully proud of my involuntary noxious emission in a sick sort of way. Here was my sweetie, a decorated ex-Army Ranger, screaming like a drag queen with a broken nail over my lil' ol' girl farts!

Pres. Bush, sir, you should have called me when the pundits first started alleging you hadn't found any weapons of mass destruction. They're all right here, in my hiney ...

If you're wondering what Grace Jones and Jane Seymour have been up to lately...

2006-12-08T17:39:00.002-05:00

From The Daily Intelligencer:

Three former “Bond girls” recently helped Delta promote its new service between New York-JFK and London-Gatwick. Maud Adams, Grace Jones and Jane Seymour each appeared as one of the perennial femme fatales who succumb to the charms of the British super spy in the long-running series of adventure flicks ...

Grace Jones — perhaps you know her as May Day from A View to a Kill — was clad in a shimmering vintage Issey Miyake number replete with a hood and definitely could use that drink. "I actually have to fly back to London tomorrow at 8 a.m.," she said. "Not on Delta, though. I need me a sleeper bed, so I'm flying British Airways."

Awkward pause.

"Oh, whoops," she continued. "Was I not supposed to say that? Whatever, I don't give a f**k. These American airlines have to get their act together. Corporate cannibalism, this is. They took all my makeup on my way over here — lip gloss, powder, everything. Like I'm gonna blow s**t up with some eyeliner."

Lip glossed or not, how does she feel about Daniel Craig as the next Bond ... and what of the fact he reportedly had to be taught to drive stick shift for the role? She laughed. "It's funny they let that leak out. That's cute. Driving stick is very phallic. I hope he's picked it up by now."

... Jane Seymour — Live and Let Die's Solitaire — seemed to have other things on her mind. "I can drive stick," she mused. "Maybe I should be Bond."

Who woulda thunk it?

2006-10-24T13:48:00.001-05:00

File this one under "Learn something new every day" ... it's from an e-book I read recently entitled "Harry the Hunter and Gida the Gatherer" by relationships author and sociologist Kara Oh.

"In recent research it has been discovered that there are several kinds of sperm. There are 'odds and ends' which are designed explicitly for the sole purpose of taking up space and adding to the overall mass, because a larger mass more successfully covers the opening to the cervix, thus raising the odds of impregnation as well as impeding the likelihood of another man impregnating the woman.
Then there are 'warrior' sperm that attack any other man's sperm that might be in the woman, and 'gatekeeper' sperm that hover around the egg, allowing only "brother" sperm to impregnate the egg.
If a man thinks there's a possibility that another man has had sex with his partner, his body makes more of the 'warrior' sperm. This is competition at the most primal level."

The Plight of the ECG (Elderly Christian Gentleman)

2006-09-29T11:05:00.001-05:00

This article on moral evolution (or devolution?) is one of the most entertaining and well-written articles I've read in a long time. It makes some great points in between the wryly self-deprecating commentary. Enjoy.

From the article:

" ... There is Alma, 19, who models lingerie. She is endearing: 'I don't have experience, but I learn rapidly. I am sensual, beautiful, and muy morbosa (that is, partial to kinky sex). I receive you in my lingerie and we will make love many times surrounded by the luxury you expect.' There is a sister act of Ana and Angela, lesbian students who are muy morbosas and who perform separately or together; and another lesbo team, Laura and María, who though they are muy enamoradas occasionally 'require a man.' There is Alicia, 20, 'elegant and morbosa.' And then there is Andaluza, a self-confessed 29 years old, the veteran of the lot: "incredibly beautiful, exotic massages, all services." Alas, she commands only 100 euros (the others, from 125 to 250 euros). ...

There are dozens and dozens of them advertised in those two pages. In a dignified publication like ABC, which takes itself oh-so-seriously, this is startling: at least, as I say, to an Elderly Christian Gentleman like myself. The cuties almost all describe themselves as muy morbosa, which may be the fitting description for European politics and morals in this new age. They like it low-down and kinky."

Capitol Domes

2006-09-22T09:10:00.001-05:00

Congressional image consultants parse eight very troubling Capitol Hill hair trends as November '06 approaches.

From the article:
"It's one of the first things voters notice," says political image consultant Sherry Maysonave, president of Austin, Texas-based Empowerment Enterprises, who has masterminded the appearance of congressional and presidential candidates from both parties. "Hair is a strong indicator of a candidate's position and politics. If it's distracting in any way, it can seriously reduce the power of the message."

Well, then, if that's so, Cynthia McKinney's hair needs NO explanation.

The bitch is back

2006-09-01T08:20:00.000-05:00

An apology to my readers for having been off the radar for so long. My dear momma passed away in February so I've been hugely busy with family/estate matters. Now that all of that has been wrapped up, I expect to post on a more regular basis. Have a great weekend, peeps and homies ... will be posting a little some'em some'em on my weekend when I get back.

Researchers find Bach's oldest known manuscripts

2006-09-01T08:12:00.001-05:00

From the Associated Press: The oldest known manuscripts of Johann Sebastian Bach — handwritten copies of works by two other composers — have been discovered in a library that was heavily damaged in a fire two years ago.

The two manuscripts date from around 1700 and contain copies Bach made of organ music created by two other composers.

Nipple Pincher Gets Juvenile Detention

2006-03-03T12:42:00.001-05:00

What is this world coming to when a kid gets thrown in juvie for giving a titty twister to another kid??

When I was little, I remember my older brother getting (and giving) bloody noses, broken bones and worse. My dad and granddad before him did the same damned thing. And not a one of 'em ever got sent to juvie. If things got way out of hand, the nuns (or other grownups who happened to be around) always took care of it, and quite efficiently too, with a well-placed whack of the hand, ruler, paddle, switch or whatever. And nobody bitched at the individual dispensing the discipline. And best of all, nobody's parents bitched that their kid was being subjected to "mental distress" or "inappropriate touching" or any such crap. Why? Because they knew this was just part of being a boy and an XY chromo in general. Expressions of physical dominance and challenge are just what XY chromos do. The nuns (and the parents) were smart. They knew you couldn't (and shouldn't) attempt to contravene thousands of years of biological hardwiring. The grownups just worked with it and kind of implicitly honored it as the natural rite of passage it was, is, and always will be.

God, wouldn't it be nice if the judge could prescribe a titty twister for the parents of the [whiny voice] "victim"?

Schwarzenegger declared persona non grata in Mexico

2006-01-24T20:51:00.001-05:00

From the Sunday, Jan 22, 2006 edition of the NewsMax.com Insider Report:

The legislature in a Mexican state has declared California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger a persona non grata for what it terms his "racist policies" regarding immigration.

The resolution to declare Schwarzenegger unwelcome in the state of Baja California Sur was officially approved by the state legislature on January 17.

For the rest of the article, go here.

Ronald Reagan

2006-01-20T18:29:00.001-05:00

Today is the 25th anniversary of Ronald W. Reagan's inauguration as the 40th President of the United States, so in honor of him and the principles and ideals he loved and so ably and admirably communicated and defended, I'm posting this website.

Check out this one and this one as well.

Yeah, I know all my libby buds are sitting there gagging but you already know how much I love this man and I want to show some 'spect to his memory. You know I wouldn't bitch if you had a blog and posted stuff for your own heroes I disagree with, so just breathe and let the feeling pass. :-)

It rubs the lotion on its skin ...

2006-01-20T10:33:00.001-05:00

OK people, get ready for one HILARIOUS song and video ... "Lotion" by a UK band called The Greenskeepers, done in honor of Buffalo Bill of Silence of the Lambs. The video consists of a montage of clips from the movie, skillfully edited to make it look like the characters in the movie are jamming to the song. The song itself was featured on a recent episode of Grey's Anatomy and got such an enthusiastic viewer response that it will be featured on a CD compilation of songs from the show. Be forewarned that if you are playing this video while at work, you'll have to pretty much kiss your productivity goodbye for at least the next few minutes. The song is pretty damn catchy, so you and your co-workers will be singing along with it - and playing the video over and over again in between laughing fits.

Now sit back and watch the video ... or else it gets the hose again ... you don't want the hose again, do you?!?!?!!!!

A cheeri-o and thank you to The Greenskeepers for making this video. You guys are feckin' brilliant!! :-)

(Click here to start the fun)

MLK Day

2006-01-16T21:51:00.001-05:00

In honor of MLK Day I am providing a link to two documents that rank among the most historic and inspirational documents of our country, second only to the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and Bill of Rights and ranking right up there with Hamilton's Federalist Papers, Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, and Frederick Douglass's Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave:

The "I Have a Dream" Speech
"Letter from a Birmingham Jail"

Magical Personality Quiz

2006-01-15T21:39:00.002-05:00

This is one of the most accurate quizzes I've seen in a long time. It takes a bit longer than most (about 10 minutes), but it's dead-on.

I was told that my mythical personality is the Chimera, which makes total sense because the chimera is a water/fire creature and I just so happen to be born on the cusp of Cancer (water) and Leo (fire) - barely made it to being a Leo by just a few hours. I have a mix of both Cancerian and Leonian traits. Profile below. Those who know me will agree with it and those who don't will get some essential insight! :-) And if you happen to take it yourself, do let me know which mythical creature YOU are.

Chimera
Water with Fire

Astrologically associated with Cancer and the Fourth House (home, surroundings, family)

Chimera types are motivated to achieve and maintain emotional closeness between themselves and those they are close to. They are among the most outgoing of all the types. They have a strong sense of community, harmony, and cooperation. They are devoted to their family, whether this is an actual family or a specially chosen group of like-minded individuals. They thrive in company and are rarely alone. They find personal fulfillment in supportive, nurturing, and caring roles, but they emphasize self-reliance for all. They are intensely protective of those they love and are both perceptive and intuitive regarding their needs. They can seem at times to be in a world of their own because of a capacity for reflection. They are very emotionally expressive, which can seem like "gushing" to other, more restrained types.

Friday Fun!

2006-01-13T16:15:00.001-05:00

Your Heart Is Orange

Love equals unbridled happiness for you. You enjoy the wild ride of falling in love.
And while the ride is fun for a while, you always get off once the thrill is gone.

Your flirting style: Hyper

Your lucky first date: Anything you need your passport for!

Your dream lover: Is both daring and well grounded

What you bring to relationships: Energy

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey ...

2006-01-09T20:32:00.001-05:00

Well, last week I decided to call a chimney sweeping company to have somebody come out to inspect and clean my chimney; I figured it was due for a check-up after living here for nine years, even though I build a fire only once or twice a year. To my surprise, the sweep who showed up was a) cute, b) charming and c) single, and we got to talking about all kinds of things, and after he finished his inspection (chimney had a fairly clean bill of health, no serious problems), we chatted for a couple more hours since his next appointment wasn't until the late afternoon. Before he left, he asked me out, and of course I said yes. After all, my favorite movie as a kid was Mary Poppins - and if shaking hands with a sweep or blowing him a kiss was supposed to bring you luck ( as the song goes), a date with one would surely be that much luckier!!

Unfortunately, that was the high point of our interaction, and it went promptly to the ash-heap from there. Saturday evening around 7 pm he called me and asked me what I was doing that evening. I told him I just so happened to not have any solid plans (OK, OK, I know, it goes against The Rules ... I normally do follow them, really I do, I just wasn't thinking and was in a spontaneous mood, so spank me!!!!) Then he mentioned he had one small problem: he had lost his wallet two days earlier so whatever we did would have to be low-budget. I magnanimously offered to treat this time on condition that he would treat me next time, and he readily consented. (I KNOW that was probably his goal. SHUT UP. After I hung up with him I was kicking myself for saying that too.) We agreed on him stopping by an hour later (since, after all, he knew where I lived). The date was set, locked and loaded.

Two hours later, still no sweep on my doorstep and no explanatory phone call. The strains of "Chim Chim Cher-ee" that had been playing in my head just kind of petered out into indifferent nothingness. I wrote him off with a shrug, put on my PJs and curled up on the couch with some hot tea to watch Dodgeball. Of course, wouldn't you know it, not 2 minutes after I changed into my sweats and got de-gussied up, he bounced up to the door and rang the doorbell.

"Hi! Well, I'm here!"
"I can see that. But you were supposed to be here an hour ago. I thought you weren't coming."
"Sorry. It's dark and it took a while for me to find your place, and then my roommate had some problems with his car ..."
"I didn't get a call. And I assume you've got a cell phone since you're a technician. Tell you what. Let's go out some other time when you have your wallet back and everything's in order with your roommate and your life and all."
"But I was really looking forward to going out, can't we still go out? I mean, I'm here ..."
"No. I'm already in my sweats and it's 10 pm."
"We could hang out here ... ?"
"Not appropriate on a first date."
[Awkward pause.]
(Me) "Sorry if you feel awkward, but ... some other time. Have a good night."
Thus I showed him back out the door with the worst hangdog expression you ever saw on his crestfallen face, and went back to my tea and Dodgeball.

Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey,
Chim chim cher-ee!
A sweep is as lucky, as lucky can be
Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey
Chim chim cher-oo!
But not when he's late to a hot date with you
And doesn't give a heads-up and that's crap-py too!

;-)

I killed my Enzos

2006-01-07T17:26:00.001-05:00

I never dreamed I'd be doing 2 obits in the space of less than 24 hours, but this time I am announcing the death of my beloved Enzo Angiolinis. I murdered them. Accidentally, but I murdered them. A couple of nights ago I was bouncing down my steps on my way to a date when I took a tumble and as my legs were going out from under me, the heel on the right Enzo caught the stair step, snapped right off and cannonballed across the room. I was totally fine - grabbed the bannister and saved myself just in time - but my Enzos were dead.

Now, before you start thinking I'm nuts for writing an obituary on a pair of freakin' shoes, these weren't just any old zapatos, you understand. First of all, they were Italian, and that would be enough because Italian shoes are the bomb diggity in terms of design, craftsmanship and quality materials; but second of all, they were also gorgeous and sexy - as you can see by the photos I took of me wearing the one good shoe, for posterity. (Check out the dark bronze leather braided straps, dark chocolate stack heel and the greenish-brown natural horn embellishment in the T-strap!) Thirdly, they were amazingly comfortable - it's truly a Nightmare on Elm Street to try to find shoes that even halfway decently fit my size 10 Idaho potato-picker paddles, which are broad AND have high arches. When I wore these suckers, I hardly knew they were on, and I could walk all over the place in them with nary a complaint from either foot or shoe. But if that were not enough, the shoe fairy lavished even more luck on me with the price - I snagged them for $12 at a consignment store (Tabu on Roswell Rd) and normally Enzos retail for $150 or more. So, this morning I was REALLY feeling the loss of these shoes.

In desperation, I took them to my cobbler, a very serious Korean guy. I carefully proffered them with all the mournful devotion of a child with a sick pet, and asked him if there was anything, ANYTHING, he could do. He screwed up his face and tsk-tsked at the carnage before him, the chipped heel, torn leather, broken nails and snapped-in-half metal reinforcement.
"Look, I can put new metal refossment but iss reery too spensive, iss not worth it."
"How much would it be?"
"Thirry-fi dollah."
"Oh. Well, $35 isn't THAT bad if I could wear them again ... after all, I only got them for $12 ..."
"No, you don't unnerstan. Even if I do metal refossment, these shoes nevah be same again. Nevah. Iss not worth it."
"But ... man, I love these shoes, what a bummer! Are you SURE there is nothing that can be done?"
"Nooo. Just throw away."
"Throw them away?!? I couldn't just throw these in the trash, that's a sacrilege! Wait a minute ... if I left them with you, would you want to see if you could fix them up in your spare time and your wife might want them ... ?"
The guy cocked his head toward his wife to get her to come over. She looked the shoes up and down, folded her arms, shook her head, and clucked her tongue. I turned around and looked imploringly at the 20something black girl standing in line behind me, hoping to find some support in my desperation, but she, too, solemnly shook her head, then gave ne a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and said, "Girl, just let it go."

When I got home I dejectedly text-messaged my best friend Jen telling her my Enzos had died, and of course, she totally understood and went with me to Nordstrom's for some shoe therapy. It was meant to be, I suppose. The shoe fairy was good to me once more (I suppose she thought I'd suffered enough grief for one day), and I not only came away with one pair of shoes, but THREE pairs I really like. :-) Pennies from heaven ...

You'll never find ...

2006-01-06T17:40:00.001-05:00

Sadly, the world has lost what the great Frank Sinatra once dubbed "the silkiest chops in the singing game." Entertainer and humanitarian Lou Rawls passed away today from lung and brain cancer at the age of 72, ending a lengthy, amazingly multitalented career in soul, blues, jazz, acting, and even dancing. Although it is more likely that history will remember him for his musical contributions, he preferred to be remembered for his work with underprivileged teens through the United Negro College Fund and other community organizations.

I saw him in an interview with FOX News only 3 months ago, and he looked and sounded great, and was extremely upbeat. I don't recall that he ever mentioned he was fighting cancer, or if he did, he only referred to it in passing, saying he was being treated for it and he was going to be fine. The main thing he was focusing on was working with Outkast's Andre 3000 on Andre's upcoming Prohibition-era movie My Life in Idlewild, scheduled for release in 2006, the soundtrack for which was composed by Outkast and basically creates a whole new genre called swing-hop that fuses 30s and 40s swing with hip-hop. To the best of my recollection, Rawls said he was dancing and helping out with the choreography, and I've been trying to look it up on the Internet to confirm this but have found no information on his involvement.

Rest in peace, Lou.

The most ohmyGodincredible chili ever

2006-01-05T19:57:00.002-05:00

Well, in response to the many friends and acquaintances who have axed (as opposed to asked) for this recipe, without further ado, here it is. :-)

I have to admit it's not actually a recipe in the sense that there are specific measurements. I just do everything to taste, dump it in the CrockPot (the glories of which will merit a whole 'nuther blog entry) and let it stew. My secrets are 1) loooowww slooowww cooking 2) tons of garlic and onions in all different forms to get a sort of "layering" effect and 3) QUALITY meat. The better quality meat you have, the better tasting your chili is gonna be.

WHAT YOU NEED:
- 2 cans kidney beans (I like to use 2 cans Bush's dark red kidney beans), undrained - use juice and all
- 1 lb ground sirloin
- 1 chopped fresh onion
- At least 2 cloves of minced fresh garlic
- 1 packet of Campbell's Onion Soup mix
- 1 lg can tomato sauce
- 1 mini can tomato paste
- 1-2 cans chopped tomatoes OR stewed tomatoes, undrained - use juice and all
- Beef broth
- Garlic pepper salt, fresh ground pepper, chili powder, dried oregano, fresh oregano, cumin, chopped dried onions, onion powder, minced garlic in a jar, garlic powder, Worcestershire sauce, hot pepper sauce, all to taste. I personally add some of ALL of these things!!! Regarding which brand of hot pepper sauce to use, I really like Glory, it adds a lot of flavor without adding a lot of heat. Tabasco is okay but I like Glory better.

WHAT YOU DO:
SLAP (as opposed to a genteel positioning in the middle of your frying pan; tastes better when you SLAP things in the pan) that ground sirloin with the chopped onion and garlic in some olive oil (and red wine if you've got it) until onions are JUST transparent. Everything is going to cook some more in the CrockPot so you don't need to have the meat well done. Break up the meat into teeny pieces with a spatula while it's sauteing so you don't end up with huge hamburger patty-like blobs; you want your meat to be thoroughly distributed through the chili.
DUMP (as opposed to a prissy pour; it tastes better when you DUMP) the meat mixture and everything else in your CrockPot and add beef broth if the mixture seems too dry, but remember that when you're cooking things in a CrockPot you need only 2/3 or 1/2 as much liquid as you would if you were cooking the same dish on the stove.
CrockPot everything on LOW heat for 8 hours. It is best to get this started in the morning, then do your thing for the day and when you come back for supper it will be done!
Optional: eat on top of spaghetti or rice, sprinkle with cheese, or add a dash of hot sauce, sour cream, whatever ... Chili is all about personal preference, so do whatever floats your boat! But this chili is SO GOOD I like to eat it just by itself in a bowl with nothing else added.

Serves 4 very hungry people (if they're guys and they want seconds) or 8 slightly hungry people. When serving, bask in the compliments and groan about how difficult it was to make. ;-)

Tax cuts for the rich (the eeevil rich)

2006-01-03T11:27:00.001-05:00

I've always said it's impossible for individuals who have taken at least 1 course in economics and have at least a rudimentary knowledge of macroecon and microecon to be Democrats/liberals/progressives/what-have-you, and that those with economic credentials who spread agit-prop peddling socialism, government programs, increased taxation and the like as viable solutions to the nation's ills are flat-out lying to their audience.

For the edutainment of those in need of the basics, as well as those who could use a refresher, here is a great exposé of the truth about tax cuts, attributed (incorrectly) to an economist at UGA. See the Snopes scoop on this article. While I have no information on its true authorship, having taken a few courses in econ I can confirm that the content itself is solid.
* * * * * * * * * *

Sometimes politicians can exclaim; "It's just a tax cut for the rich!", and it is just accepted to be fact. But what does that really mean? Just in case you are not completely clear on this issue, we hope the following will help.

Tax Cuts - A Simple Lesson In Economics

This is how the cookie crumbles. Please read it carefully. Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh $7.
The eighth $12.
The ninth $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20."

So, now dinner for the ten only cost $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So, the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six, the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share'?

The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being 'PAID' to eat their meal. So, the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free.But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man: "But he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than me!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.

There are lots of good restaurants in Europe and the Caribbean.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D. Distinguished Professor of Economics
536 Brooks Hall University of Georgia

What Animal Were You in a Past Life?

2006-01-02T16:36:00.001-05:00

Look!!!!! It's Wee Wee!!!!!!!

You Were a Lynx

You are a great knower and keeper of secrets.
A bit psychic, you can bring out hidden truths.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

2005-12-12T17:10:00.001-05:00

Woo hoo! Go figure, I barely passed it when I was IN 8th grade.

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

I'm just a LITTLE bit Machiavellian.

2005-12-12T17:08:00.002-05:00

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...
But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.
You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?

Could you pass the U.S. citizenship test?

2005-12-12T16:31:00.001-05:00

Of course, the test is way lengthier and more complicated than this, but if you can't get even these 10 questions right, it's time to hit the books (or the Internet) and learn some very important stuff ...

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

My sexy Brazilian name is ...

2005-12-12T16:29:00.002-05:00

Now, finally, I've got a sexy Brazilian name to go with my sexy 39-inch trunk. :-)

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Xuxa dos Santos

What's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

Could YOU pass eighth grade math?

2005-12-12T11:52:00.001-05:00

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

The one math problem I got wrong involved a formula with a caret mark (^). I KNOW we NEVER covered that in any of my math classes back in the day. Can anybody tell me what it is and how it works in the formula? I know it's called a caret mark in the editing context, but is it called a caret in the mathematical context as well? What the heck IS this thing?

Shaq's got a badge!

2005-12-09T13:42:00.001-05:00

This is fabulous! Shaquille O'Neal has been sworn in as a reserve officer with the Miami Beach Police Department.

"Shaquille O'Neal was sworn in as a reserve police officer Thursday, with the Miami Heat center choosing to skip a public event in favor of a quiet, no-frills ceremony.
" 'Officer O'Neal is very considerate toward the other officers, and he was afraid if he was there he would have taken away from that moment for other officers,' department spokesman Robert Hernandez said. 'This is a very special time for them and their families.'
"The former Laker was a reserve officer in Los Angeles before moving to South Florida. He spent the past year training as a Miami Beach police reserve officer and can now add the $1-a-year salary to his $100 million, 5-year contract with the Heat.
"The 7-foot-1 player will be able to carry a gun, wear a badge and make arrests, but with his celebrity status he most likely will not walk a beat or go undercover. He will work as time permits in the volunteer position.
"O'Neal has said he is most interested in working with the special victims detective unit to help stop crimes against children."

Woo! Here's an invention whose time has come!

2005-12-05T17:02:00.001-05:00

(WARNING: If you're an XY chromo, you may want to refrain from reading this entry. Trust me on this one.)

Introducing ... the Diva Cup!

A competitor is the The Keeper.

If there are any women out there who are brave enough to road-test these items, do let me know. Part of me is actually extremely intrigued by the concept and seriously tempted to try one of them out myself, since my Auntie Flo is probably enough to rival the gallonage of Niagara Falls and wreaks all manner of horrific logistical and laundry-related havoc every month. I probably buy enough Tampax and Always to pay the salaries of their CEOs and put their brats through an Ivy League college. I enjoy being a woman, and all that it entails ... except for this one aspect of it. I just can't deal with the monthly. Yes, I know what some of my female friends out there are thinking. I've been brainwashed; instead of embracing, honoring and celebrating this special, magical, powerful badge of womanhood, I am buying into the "dirtyization" of the menses by our patriarchal culture. Well, if you had an Auntie Flo like MY Auntie Flo, I guarantee you that you'd be kvetching too!

Now if you're an XY chromo and cringing at this information, TOUGH! Told ya to stop reading.

What's up??

2005-11-30T13:26:00.001-05:00

A fugitive in Des Moines approached a cop, asked him "What's up?" twice, and when the cop politely responded with a "What's up?" both times, said "I'll show you what's up," pulled a .38 on him, and got himself arrested on (you guessed it) possession of crack cocaine in addition to the obvious weapons charges.

Hilarious!

A real-life "Face-Off"/Irresponsible Pet Owners Parts IV and V

2005-11-30T11:30:00.001-05:00

Remember that John Woo flick "Face-Off" with Nic Cage and John Travolta, where they literally switch faces in high-tech face transplant operations to settle an old score? A partial face transplant has just been performed successfully in France on a woman whose nose, mouth and chin were bitten clean off by a dog (Irresponsible Pet Owners, Part IV). Check it out.

This is truly amazing news. God bless her. There but for the grace of God went I!! Yep. Four years ago the dog of a (former) friend of mine bit me pretty seriously in the face. His lower teeth sank into my nose and his top ones came within literally a couple of millimeters of my left eye, no joke. By a sheer miracle, the dog missed my eye, tear ducts, nerves, etc. and didn't do any lasting damage to any of those, but he perforated my sinuses which took 3 months to heal, nearly broke my nose, and ripped my face wide open from underneath my left eye across the bridge of my nose all the way over to the right side of my nose. My plastic surgeon, Dr. Robert Miller at Piedmont Hospital, ROCKED. His skill and talent saved my face from disfigurement and I will be eternally grateful to him and his wonderful staff. (If you're in the Atl area and ever want a facelift or chin tuck, or you're in an accident and your face gets messed up, go to him!) I do have a permanent scar, but it's not noticeable unless I point it out.

The whole kicker to this was that initially, the girl was very eager to make things right again, wanting to do all she could and encouraging me to work with her insurance company and all, but some other nasty things were happening in her life, so she succumbed to a serious victim complex and started seeing me as her enemy. Our friendship got very strained; she started avoiding me when I called her to go out (taking care to not remind her of what happened ... nobody wanted to put it behind me more than I, but at that time the scar on my face was still very fresh and glaringly obvious so I suppose my presence carried a reminder she just didn't want to deal with) and she refused to put the dog down or even contemplate the certainty that he would do it again to someone else in the future, perhaps a child or a baby. Instead, she started to intimate that perhaps I was the one at fault, because I'd been wearing a black jacket when Buster bit me and whoever abused him before she'd adopted him had worn black so he was just reacting to past trauma - kinda like using the "She was asking for it because she was wearing a short skirt and a low-cut blouse" argument to let the rapist off the hook. And she even went and built a whole puff-piece website dedicated to him, to worshipfully enshrine him in cyberspace. (I won't divulge the URL here, but you can ask me for it privately if you're curious, because it's interesting, and the name of the website is quite funny in an ironic way. Just don't post any flames on her website or send her flame mail. I'm above that, and I trust all my readers are too.) Basically, she did everything she could to block the "unfortunate incident" out of her head and convince herself it never happened, so she wouldn't have to deal and face the responsibility associated with what her precious poopsie did. When things came to a head with her insurance company digging in its heels and refusing to cover all my medical expenses, and I had to get a lawyer to work things out, her insurance company started to put pressure on her, and she got the misguided idea that if the "evidence" disappeared, they would stop hassling her and everybody would leave her alone, not that the presence or absence of the dog would have mattered in a court of law, but that's what she was thinking. So, she called me in (fake) tears, telling me her beloved Buster had run away. A few weeks later, at the mediation session, my lawyer called her mother to confirm certain facts about the case for the insurance company, informing her that he was at the mediation session and would she mind if he put her on a speakerphone? Of course not. He then asked her what Buster's status was, if he had ever run away. She said noooo, of course not, he had never run away, in fact he was sitting there right beside her, where did he get that idea? When he informed her that her daughter had told me that Buster had run off, she accused me of lying (when in fact it was her daughter who had just been caught in a lie), praised the dog as "a sweet, peaceful thing that would never dream of hurting anybody" (when she had been right there with me and the girl and my family when I was taken to the hospital and had seen the damage with her own eyes) and called me a "money-grubbing bitch" (even though neither she nor her daughter were being financially affected in any way by this dispute since it was between me and the insurance company, not me and them) ... completely forgetting that my lawyer had put her on a speakerphone and the insurance company's rep, the mediator, and I could all hear her loud and clear. I was in tears, but my lawyer was beaming. He politely said, "OK, Mrs. So and So, thank you for your time," and hung up with her, and without missing a beat, said, "OK, can we talk now?" The insurance company rep, seeing that the policyholder's credibility (and capacity for logical and rational thought) had been placed in SERIOUS doubt and I was 100% on the level, replied, "Yes, let's talk." And so I finally got my settlement. No, I didn't get a boatload of dough in the way of "pain and suffering," but I definitely got enough to cover my remaining expenses and restore my face as much as was possible, which was all this "money-grubbing bitch" was ever after anyway. LOL.

That concludes Irresponsible Pet Owners, Part V!!

Husband of the Year Award goes to ...

2005-11-26T17:15:00.000-05:00

Mark T., who volunteered to tote our bags for a good 1/4 mi back to our parking space when we (Mark, his wife/my best friend Jen, and I) all went shopping at IKEA this afternoon!

Whatta man! Every XY chromo out there ought to be taking notes.

The fleas have just gone to other parts of the dog...

2005-11-25T18:29:00.001-05:00

At least, that's what Neal Boortz always says in reference to the riffraff who fled The Big Sleazy en masse after Hurricane Katrina, and I have to say I agree with him. My car got broken into during the wee hours of Thanksgiving morning, and I don't think it's a coincidence that it happened so shortly after Hurricane Katrina, after I've been living in Atlanta for eight years and the bottom-dwellers have had that long to break into Klaus (my old Benz) but never bothered to do it till now. The cop who took my police report revealed that the crime rate in Atl and other towns across Georgia, especially in terms of petty crime (theft and break-ins), has shot through the roof since Hurricane Katrina, but this hasn't been covered by the media because 1) they don't want people to panic and 2) Hurricane Katrina evacuees must never, ever, ever, under any circumstances be portrayed as anything less savory than poor, hapless victims. So, take precautions to protect yourselves and your loved ones out there. The media and the government won't, and can't, do it for you.

Of course, this experience has been a bit stressful and unnerving to go through, but through it all I've been feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude that they didn't try to break into my home and they didn't touch me. My car is fixable (poor Klaus!). Material goods are replaceable. My life is not. (From this perspective, it's appropriate that the break-in occurred on Thanksgiving.)

Oh, by the way, I've asked my pops to get me a .22 for Christmas ...

Wine pairings

2005-11-22T10:07:00.001-05:00

Here's my list of top 20 fortuitous wine/spirit pairings (in no particular order), with the understanding, of course, that you are also warmly invited to share yours ...

1. Pinotage with pasta carbonara (heavy on the bacon)
2. Beaujolais Nouveau (chilled) with Thanksgiving turkey and REAL cranberry sauce
3. White Rioja with summer picnic food
4. Shiraz with venison stew
5. LBV ruby Port with chocolate torte
6. 20 yr old tawny Port with Gorgonzola
7. 20 yr old tawny Port with pierced Stilton (Brit-style. They pierce it and pour the Stilton in the holes, lay it aside for a few days till the port permeates the cheese, and you've got yourself some kickarse Stilton ...) or Bleu d'Auvergne
8. White port with toasted nuts (or Marcona almonds), Spanish olives and chorizo
9. New Zealand Sauv Blanc with goat cheese, also from Kiwi-land
10. Pinot Noir with goat cheese
11. Sparkling rosé with Chinese food
12. Riesling with Indian food
13. Riesling with almost anything (my opinion is, if you can't fix it with a Riesling, face it, it's feckin' BROKE)
14. Chianti with spaghetti alla marinara (my own recipe, heavy on the sun-dried tomatoes)
15. Gewürtztraminer with sushi (but only if the sushi has got plenty of the trimmings, like soy, ginger, wasabi ...)
16. Zinfandel with (I want my babybackbabybackbabybackbabybackbabyback) BBQ ribs
17. Sauternes with Roquefort
18. Rioja with Manchego
19. Alsace Pinot Gris with quiche Lorraine
20. Amontillado sherry with Irish cheddar. Ooo! ooo! ooo! [jumping up and down] and hot fresh roasted peanuts with sea salt!

I'm still trying to noodle out some other pairings but I'm hoping one of my readers can help me with those.
Calvados: I know crème brulée is the classic choice, but how about something with pears or cranberries (you know, fall fruity flavors)? Camembert? Brie with honey and gingersnaps? Or would that last one go better with Sauternes?
Scrambled eggs: Sancerre? Champagne? I guess it depends on what's in the eggs.

Germs

2005-11-21T21:43:00.001-05:00

OK, today I'm going to treat you to a big ole rambling, mumblefussing rant about idiotic people who spread germs, which I think is apropos now with increasing concerns about the avian flu and the coming winter season. The fuse was lit by a friend of mine who shared a somewhat disturbing experience with me, so you can blame (or congratulate) him for the inspiration, whatever you like.

Bruce works in the hospitality industry (concierge at a four-star hotel in the Atlanta area). On a trip to the local Kaiser Permanente facility to pick up some meds, he saw a stack of printouts which advised people not to sneeze in their hands, but to sneeze on their shoulders or in their sleeve, so that your clothing can absorb the germs and they won't be spread to other people. At his job, he constantly sees hotel guests and coworkers sneeze in their hands, and then not two seconds later reach out to shake somebody's hand, or grab a telephone, and it gets him pretty pissed off (not to mention sick all the time), so he saw these printouts and thought, Eureka! Why not take a few of these printouts (which are, after all, from a well-respected HMO) to the next hotel staff meeting on policies and procedures and get people thinking, and perhaps create a healthier workplace. Right???

Well, he took the printouts to the meeting and handed them out, but nobody seemed to give a damn. One person even went so far as to call him "eccentric" to have these feelings about the spreading of germs. I felt pretty bad for Bruce. He's a voice in the wilderness. Have you ever actually stopped to notice how many people really do sneeze in their hands instead of in their sleeve or on a Kleenex or napkin, and then reach over to handle a phone or shake your hand? If you haven't, you will be shocked at the number of clueless schmucks around you whose mommas never taught them about germs. There's no wonder why there is so much sickness around.

That guy who said poor Brucie was "eccentric" and all these other eejits will probably be the first to drop dead from the avian flu pandemic when it finally gets a hold of the U.S. population. (God has a sense of humor that way. You know, thinning the herd through natural selection.) The CDC has said God knows how many times that the world is LONG overdue for another flu pandemic on the scale of what we had in 1918 where 1 out of every 4 people in the U.S. died, and it's most assuredly not a matter of if, but when. But when the 1918 pandemic hit, the majority of people who died weren't kids and the elderly, but hale and hearty people in the prime of life, in their 20s and 30s, so that information is good enough for me to keep being VERY cautious and VERY careful. After all, apart from the flu scare, I don't want to get sick simply because I HATE feeling crappy!!!

And, even though I mostly have a very healthy constitution and rarely get sick (in traditional Leo style, on the rare occasions I do get sick it's quite dramatic with lots of violins), as long as I'm living in a world filled with stupid people, why try and push my luck? Therefore, I'm a fanatic about washing my hands thoroughly when going to a public restroom (singing Happy Birthday in my head three times while washing my hands so as to give the hot water, soap and friction enough time to kill all the germs) and using my sleeve or a paper towel to cover the door handle as I get the heck out. I'm also a fanatic about hovering instead of riding bareback when I have to use a public restroom. I'm even suspicious of the so-called protective capabilities of those paper covers. Some small part of me, though, has always wondered if I was just a bit paranoid for doing so. That is, up until 2 wks ago at karaoke when I was completely vindicated. I cruised into the bathroom of the pizza place, and as I was hovering in my stall taking a quick power pee, I overheard the following conversation between two girls (and no, I am not making this up for the sake of dramatic effect/gross-out humor):

GIRL 1 [in the stall to the right of me as she is peeing]: Hey Sherry.
GIRL 2: [washing her hands at one of the sinks] Mm-hmmm?
GIRL 1: I've got this red rash on my ass and it's itchin' the crap outta me! It hurts so bad.
GIRL 2: Is it on your ass cheeks or actually on your privates, hon?
GIRL 1: Actually it's real close to where I had my surgery and the incision I think is infected, that's where the rash is prolly comin' from.
GIRL 2: How long have you had the rash?
GIRL 1: Like, a week, somethin' like that.
GIRL 2: What's goin' on with the incision?
GIRL 1: Well, it's killing me and pus is coming out.
GIRL 2: [Shuts off water at sink] You want me to take a look at it?
GIRL 1: [Opens stall door without leaving stall] Yeah, it hurts real bad and it itches.
GIRL 2: [Gets into stall with Girl 1 without closing stall door] OK, let me see here. [fumbling around noises] Yeah, I see some pus there. You'd better get that checked out, girlfriend.

At that point, to announce my presence (or at least remind them of it) I flushed the toilet. The girls immediately fell silent. I got out of my stall, washed my hands as fast as I could with my eyes resolutely focused on my hands and the sink - as I did NOT want to look at Sherry's friend's ass rash and pus-ridden incision, or whatever the hell Sherry was checking out on Sherry's friend's ass - and I ceremoniously covered the door handle with a nice big piece of paper towel as I walked out, and very loudly and firmly slammed the door shut. Complete silence still reigned behind me.

When I was called up to the mike to do my next song, I was actually tempted to embarrass the hell out of the girls by saying something like "Oh, by the way, Sherry's buddy over there has a rash on her ass and pus coming out of a butt incision, so if any of you need to use the ladies' room, or any ladies' room for that matter, and have a habit of riding bareback, you may want to at least use the paper covers, if not hover. Mmmm-kay? Now let's all give Sherry's girlfriend a hand and best wishes for speedy healing, shall we?" Or something like that. But I wasn't feeling particularly brilliant that night so I kept my mouth shut about it and just sang my song.

The Case Against Rebuilding New Orleans

2005-10-21T00:23:00.001-05:00

Although New Orleans will get rebuilt, Jack Shafer, in his article "Don't Refloat" on Slate.com, says it better than I ever could ... why?

The Crab Shack rocks!

2005-10-14T13:33:00.001-05:00

OK, here comes an unapologetic, shameless commercial plug/endorsement for an establishment, product or service ...

On the weekend of Sept 30 - Oct 2 a good friend and I took a road trip to Savannah to celebrate their annual Oktoberfest. We stopped by the Crab Shack on Tybee Island for their Capt'n Crab Sampler, which is a gloriously messy and delicious platter of several different kinds of crab, plus crawfish, shrimp, sausage, potatoes, and corn, all simmered in a simple yet unbelievably tasty lowcountry boil. This sampler is so ohmyGodincredible that I insist on having it every time I go to Savannah, and I honestly believe it's worth a 4-hour road trip from Atlanta to Savannah just to enjoy that sampler for dinner with a glass of one of their pleasant whites, on their deck as the sun sets over the salt marsh and Jimmy Buffett tunes play in the background.

But that isn't the main reason why I wanted to write this, even though it's certainly compelling enough ... I really wanted to give them props in my blog because they're good folks. After finishing the sampler, I went to the ladies' room for a thorough washup of my hands and arms, and left my favorite watch on the sink. I hadn't realized I'd left it there until we were already back in Savannah and didn't have another chance to drive back to Tybee. So, when we returned to Atlanta, I emailed the Crab Shack on the off chance one of the patrons or waitstaff had discovered my watch and turned it in. Sure enough, the general manager herself replied to inform me that somebody did turn it in. I asked her how much the shipping would be so that I could write them a check or PayPal them for reimbursement, but they insisted on FedExing it to me free of charge on the condition that I tell everyone about the Crab Shack. This condition was most readily and happily accepted. :-)

So, if you're ever down that way, GO to the Crab Shack. Heck, make a special trip down there, just for that. You won't regret it!

NPR's "This I Believe" contest

2005-10-14T12:50:00.001-05:00

An acquaintance told me that NPR is sponsoring an essay contest entitled "This I Believe," sent in a submission and encouraged me to send in one as well. Here's my stab at it, I hope you enjoy.

This I Believe ...

I believe that gifts and blessings are poured forth in all places, even in the darkest days, if only you open your eyes to see them.

I believe in the gifts of clarity and honesty, summarized in the simple aphorism "Say what you mean, and mean what you say," which my dad has always said to me, as well as my granddad before him. I believe that being clear and honest with yourself and others is to honor yourself, God, and the rest of God's creation.

I believe in the gifts of choice and free will. We as adults have the power of choice, every second of our lives, and no matter what mistakes we make and what tragedies befall us, we can still choose how we wish to see them and what and whether to learn from them. And we still have the choice to greet each day recognizing that although the past has made us who we are today, we don't have to be wedded to victimhood and shackled to our past today or tomorrow.

I believe that there is so much more going on in this beautiful world, in the universe, and inside of us than we humans with our wondrous yet limited senses can even begin to grasp or quantify - and that the gifts of humility and surrender help us to understand and accept the process as it unfolds in the infinite sweep of time and space.

Consider that atoms (and by extension, all molecular structures, including living beings) are 10 percent matter and 90 percent energy. There is 90 percent more to all of us than meets the eye. That 90 percent is the gift of the human soul.

I believe that there are definite evil and evildoers in the world, and the destruction, suffering, pain and anguish they cause are gifts, because they strengthen our character, provide definition, and enable us to appreciate, treasure, and live in all that is good and positive.

I believe in the gifts of faith, hope, and love; and in the greatest of these gifts, which is love. I believe we are all here on this earth to learn about love, in all its different manifestations, and that we all have a tacit agreement with one another, established before we were even born, to teach and learn from one another about love once we get here. And that even though the lessons you learn may be very scary, tough and ugly sometimes, you must always keep your mind and heart open through the pain and never lose sight of those lessons.

I believe that we are all God's face, eyes, hands, ears, and lips to one another on this earth and we must never forget this tremendous gift and responsibility in how we see and treat other people, at work and in our personal lives.

And, finally, because of all of the above, "I believe in you ... and I believe in me."

Snoop Dogg starts youth football league

2005-10-12T23:05:00.001-05:00

This is great! Snoop has started his own youth football league in Los Angeles.

PC Nazis are at it again

2005-10-12T11:11:00.001-05:00

The political correctness/sensitivity/diversity Nazis are at it again ...

A tavern in southwest Ohio has been ordered to take down its sign stating simply, "For Service, Speak English" and its staff is now required to take diversity courses. Ohio law says that any proprietor of a place of public accommodation may not deny the full enjoyment of the accommodations based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disability, age or ancestry. OK, fine. Let's take a careful look at exactly what this sign says, though. Does it say "Whites Only" as so many signs did in the 1950s? Nope. Are there any specific, direct references to race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disability, age, or ancestry in this sign? Nope. The sign is only a reference to the language that should be spoken to get service. Nothing more, nothing less. It's just the flip side of the signs that say "Se Habla Español," indicating that bilingual personnel are available on the premises to cater to people's needs in Spanish and not English. The proprietor of this tavern probably put this sign up for the one simple reason that he doesn't have bilingual or multilingual personnel who can communicate with (and serve) legals, illegals, etc. in any language other than English, and therefore, any patrons who come in wanting to speak Spanish, Mandarin, etc. can't and won't be fully served.

These days, because the U.S. Hispanic market has tremendous purchasing power that is expanding at no less than an explosive pace (as in, around $600 billion currently and predicted to reach as much as $1 trillion by 2010)not hiring multilingual personnel, not providing multilingual labeling and materials for your products and services, not advertising those products and services in Spanish, etc., is a really dumb move - in fact, it's practically tantamount to business suicide when it comes to long-term planning. But private business owners are not (at least not yet) required to make these changes, and if they decide to commit business suicide, it should be their stupid mistake and their stupid choice to make. And whoever is offended at these stupid choices has every right to choose to go elsewhere and patronize a business that does provide multilingual services, and vote with his or her pocketbook, and allow the free market to take care of the problem through supply and demand and natural extinction of businesses that can't or won't keep up.

I wonder if the tavern might have been allowed to keep its sign up if it had put a "Please" in there.

Stoodupville

2005-09-28T09:22:00.001-05:00

I think I've discovered the reason (or at least part of the reason) why smug marrieds are so smug, and desperate singles enter into green card marriages of convenience ... because they don't have to deal with this type of dude any more.

What's wrong with this dude? you may ask. Seems like a reasonably normal and nice person.

Well, I thought so too, until I got stood up by him on a lunch date yesterday. Yep. The first time I've gotten stood up on a date in over 10 years.

I'm not angry about this or anything, because it's his problem and I care too much about myself and my self-esteem than to get angry or emotional about it and let it get me down or take it personally or whatever, but I just have to ask ... why do grown adults stand up other grown adults? It makes you think, this is part of the reason why people think modern dating sucks so much. It really spoils it for the other guys out there who are genuinely kind and good people where it wouldn't even enter their minds to stand anybody up. Not even if her photo said she was a 120 lb gorgeous redhead but when you met her your eyes told you she was a 375 lb bleached blonde with 4 teeth missing, thong hanging out the top of her skirt, and fake nails longer than your sufficiently long schlong.

I thought about sending him a nastygram, but if you're the type of person who stands other people up, you're not a moral person and you aren't going to give a damn whether I (and 99.9% of other decent men and women out there) think it's wrong that you're doing it. Either you know it's wrong and you don't do it, or you know it's wrong and you do it because you don't care. You're just going to laugh and think the psychotic bitch sending the nastygram needs to get over it and get a life, and you're just going to keep doing what you've been doing until karma finally comes back around to bite you, hard, on your arse. So ... what's the point? At the same time, however, I don't like to take things like this in silence because that sends a signal that I accept and validate what is some very unacceptable and invalid behaviour. And, I want to warn other women against this dude, and just a small, evil [pinky to corner of my mouth] part of me is hoping I'll stir the puddin' and he'll see it and get all riled up. So I posted a warning on Craigslist, though I doubt many women who have been interacting with him will run across it, and probably I'll get a few emails from some dumbarse bozos who just don't get it and ask me if I'm ugly or was bitchy with him in emails before the lunch date was arranged, because that could be the reason why he stood me up.

[shaking my head, leaning back in my chair and licking my puddin' spoon]

Hands

2005-09-22T10:09:00.001-05:00

I am posting the "chicken soup for the soul"-type piece below because, regardless of your religious beliefs (or absence thereof), it still provides a great deal of food for thought. I don't know about you, but when I really stop and think about what my hands and my loved ones' hands have done over the course of time, it blows my mind. Enjoy.

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Grandpa's hands

Grandpa, some ninety-plus years old, sat feebly on the patio bench. He didn't move, just sat with his head down, staring at his hands. When I sat down beside him, he didn't acknowledge my presence, and the longer I sat the more I wondered whether he was OK. Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK.

He raised his head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," he said in a clear, strong voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandpa, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to him.

"Have you ever looked at your hands?" he asked. "I mean, really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I had never really looked at my hands. I tried to figure out the point he was making and looked up questioningly at him. Grandpa smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. My hands, though now wrinkled, shriveled, and weak, have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

They braced and caught my fall when, as a toddler, I crashed upon the floor.

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.

When I was a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer.

They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.

They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went off to war.

They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent.

They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son.

Decorated with my wedding band, they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

They wrote letters home, and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and beloved wife and walked my daughter down the aisle.

Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friend's foot.

They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed my body.

They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw.

And to this day, when not much of anything else of me works really well, these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

These hands are the mark of where I've been, and the ruggedness of my life.

But more importantly, it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home.

And with my hands He will lift me to His side, and there I will use my hands to touch the face of Christ."

Not long after that, God reached out and took my Grandpa's hands and led him home.

I know I will never look at my hands the same way again. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and wife, I think of Grandpa. I know he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

Katrina relief - news from friends

2005-09-12T16:35:00.001-05:00

Some are now saying that the hurricane relief effort may be bigger in terms of money and donations than the 9/11 relief effort. I would venture a guess that it's going to end up being FAR bigger. It's only been a couple of weeks since the disaster transpired, but it seems that private citizens are organizing donation drives and even taking it upon themselves to caravan down to the Gulf to help rebuild and offer assistance in any way they can. Ham radio operators, cooks, communications technicians, you name it, they're volunteering their time and treasure, going down there and making personal sacrifices to get and stay in the thick of things and do what they can. I don't recall anything on a scale like this after 9/11. I remember a lot of people sending stuff, but I don't remember people actually going to NYC in droves to personally help out and bring supplies with them. Do you?

Two people I know have become directly involved in the efforts. One hosted a donations drive/pool party at his apartment complex this past Saturday, and although he expected it to be a bust, 200 people showed up with all kinds of items to donate, more than he and his friends literally know what to do with. The second fellow actually went along with family and friends on a caravan down to Bayou La Batre, AL.

From his email sent to me last Sunday:

"Family, friends and people in the community donated canned goods, sodas, bags of rice, diapers, baby wipes, pet food, gallons upon gallons of Clorox, cleaning products and a host of other items. We had literally around a ton of food for our three car caravan. We headed to small city called Bayou La Batre on the Gulf Coast of AL. People may remember this area from the movie Forrest Gump, where some of the movie was filmed and the home of Pvt. Benjamin Buford 'Bubba' Blue played by Mykelti Williamson. Condoleezza Rice made a stop there as part of her visit to hurricane-stricken areas.

On our way down we passed others who were heading down to the gulf to help. We passed other caravans, Red Cross officials, military caravans, electrical trucks, campers, RVs, and a host of people just heading down to help. From our ham radio to handheld radios, most of what was talked about was where people were going and what areas they were headed to. We talked to people from as far as Ohio. The Ohio caravan was going down to set up ham radio communications in Mississippi. I know what it was like for me when I was watching this on TV, but being there, seeing the people, seeing FEMA and seeing the devastation, this was beyond even the scope of what you have seen from the media.

I hope these pictures will give you a bit of an idea of what we experienced.

Getting started at 6am, our first stop at Burger King.
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Arriving at the FEMA center (Bayou La Batre Community Center), they were completely full of donations and evacuees. They directed us to the local First United Methodist church across the street, but they were only accepting food and cleaning products. They directed us to World Hope International church, who was accepting the clothing.
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The devastation in La Batre.
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We met up with [our caravan leader's friend], whose home was completely demolished. In the pictures you’ll see the homes along the coast about 300 feet from the sea wall. The locals said the sea surge was anywhere from 20 to 40 feet. It washed away entire homes and deposited a 2nd story of another house as well as a semi trailer.
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A shrimp boat anchor in the yard where their house used to be.
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The trip back.
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You're more than welcome to use the information I sent. Just a few things to pass along to those that want to go down there ... this may be different for each area, so just take this as a FYI.

There are a lot of people that are giving, the problem is where to deliver it. I know Eddie [the caravan leader] and possibly my dad will be heading down again in a few weeks, I don't know exactly when.

If anyone is going to drive to a certain location, be sure they get as much "detailed" information as they can. When we showed up at FEMA they didn't really know where we could deliver the food or clothing, even though the church driveway was less than 25 feet away from the first person we asked.

I asked another FEMA person and a Red Cross person, but they were more focused on helping the people that were there than really knowing where [items should] go, it was the AL State Patrol that had a lot more information. So if anyone is going down, they may want to contact the local authorities or check some of the hurricane disaster web sites.

They can still use stuff down in Bayou La Batre, so if anyone wants to take some stuff down I can give them some contacts. Just let me know.

The media in their typical manner aren't really helping matters with their inciting of blame, race and Bush-bashing. It wouldn't have mattered if the US combined with the whole world had a plan, the devastation is so extensive and so widespread - 90, 000 square miles - that no one could have reached most of the areas with any type of immediate efficiency.

People down there aren't concerned about race, blame, or what could have been done better. All they are concerned about right now is staying alive. Sadly most of the animals were too sick to eat or drink so they had to put them down. The elderly who are dependent on machines simply died during transport into the helicopters. Without their machines they simply died in the 1 minute airlift.

If there is any additional information you need, I'll be happy to answer any questions.

Ronnie

The military gittin-r-done

2005-09-12T15:21:00.001-05:00

This is a forward I received this afternoon from a Marine friend based in Florida.
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You won't get this news on ABC or CNN ...

Thought you might be interested in a couple unfiltered spot reports from the front. USS IWO JIMA (LHD 7) is one of the "L" ships in the Gulf assisting Katrina rescue/recovery efforts. Capt. Rich Callas commanding. This is what happens when the Gators git-r-done ...

SUBJ: IWO UPDATE - 6 SEPT 05

Hello All;

Since I took over IWO JIMA over a year ago, I felt as though I had control of the destiny of the ship. I thought I lost it today, the first time ever, and that we were merely reacting to events rather than controlling them.

Within the first 24 hours after arriving pierside in New Orleans, IWO JIMA has become many things. We are one of the few full service airports in the area and have been operating aircraft on and off our deck for almost 15 hours each day. We are also one of the only air conditioned facilities within a ten mile radius and though we have had problems making water from the polluted Mississippi, we are also the only hot shower within miles. All day long we have been accommodating local policemen, firemen, state troopers, national guard, 82nd Airborne division personnel with hot showers and hot food. I met an ambulance team from Minnesota who just drove straight to New Orleans when they heard of the tragedy and have been supporting hospitals free of charge for the last week. They hadn't had a hot meal in over a week and were grateful to have the opportunity to have lunch onboard. The Deputy Commander of the RI National Guard reported to me that he had guardsmen who were whipped, but after a hot shower and an IWO JIMA breakfast were ready to hit the patrols again. Rarely have I seen so many smiling, happy faces than on these people. After two weeks in the trenches sleeping on concrete floors, no shower, and eating MREs, good ship IWO JIMA has been a Godsend. I had an opportunity to talk to the Director of Homeland Security for a few minutes in my cabin. I asked him if there was anything more I could do for him, he asked if he could get a shower. I was glad to turnover my cabin to him. The local FEMA coordinator and his logistics and security teams were on my quarterdeck this afternoon asking permission to set up their command center on the pier next to the ship. While they had sophisticated command and control equipment, they had no place to berth their 250 FEMA members. We were glad to give them a home. Contrary to the press, all the FEMA people I met had been on station since last Sunday (before the Hurricane hit), never left the area, and have been in the field ever since. The command duty officer was told that one state trooper had driven 80 miles to get to the ship. He said that the word was out: Come to IWO JIMA. We expect that the flood gates will open on us.

Early this morning we received our first medical emergency: an elderly woman with stroke-like symptoms. Throughout the day we received about a dozen medical emergencies, the most serious was an elderly man who was stabbed in the chest and was bleeding to death. The doctors performed surgery on him and saved his life. I toured the hospital ward; all our charges were elderly and disadvantaged individuals. As with Hotel IWO JIMA, we expect to see many more casualties tomorrow.

Our curse appears to be our flight deck and our extraordinary command and control capabilities. Our challenge today was the tidal wave of Flag and General Officers that flooded onboard, 17 total, virtually all without notice. I couldn't believe there were so many involved in this effort and they all wanted to come here. They poured onto the flight deck in one helicopter after another in order to meet with General Honore, the Joint Task Force Commander. The majority showed up around the same time and all wanted to leave at the same time, making it a nightmare for our flight deck team to control and coordinate flights on and off the ship for all these admirals and generals while supporting the humanitarian effort. I spent most of the day running around the ship getting these people off and on helicopters and in and out of the meetings and command spaces. It was like herding cats. But the ship performed superbly and "flexed" to meet the challenge. Regretfully, we expect nearly 20 admirals and generals onboard tomorrow for more meetings. To add to the challenges, virtually all of these commands are sending liaison staffs to help coordinate issues, and already a number of admirals and generals have "permanently" embarked. The Inn is full.

I talked to one of the FEMA team members who had also worked the disaster relief for 9/11. I asked him how much more difficult was the Katrina relief effort compared to 9/11. He said it was without measure: thousand of times worse than 9/11. He couldn't articulate the magnitude of the destruction.

Despite all the challenges, I think we regained control by the end of the day. We are forearmed for tomorrow's onslaught. At our evening Dept Head meeting, I asked all my principals to tell me what the stupidest thing they heard or saw today. The list was enormous. But the most absurd item was when my Tactical Action Officer, who runs our 24 hour command center (CIC) got a phone call from the Director of the New Orleans Zoo. Apparently, there was a large fire near the zoo. It was so intense that the fire department had to abandon the cause, but military helos were heavily engaged in scooping up giant buckets of water and dumping in on the blaze in an effort to put it out. The director complained to us that the noise from the helos was disturbing the animals, especially the elephants, which he was most concerned about, and asked us to stop. The TAO thanked him for his interest in national defense.

It is inspiring to meet and talk to such a huge number of individuals who are doing the Lord's work to recover this city. They have had little sleep, little food, no showers, working 16-18 hours a day, and in some cases no pay, and they are thanking ME for a hot meal! Only in America. We have turned the corner. It will take an awful long time, but we have turned the corner.

All the best,

RSC [Capt. Callas]

SUBJ: IWO UPDATE - 7 SEPT 05

Hello All;

We finally had a chance to have Captain's Call this morning. The ship has been running at full speed for 8 days straight with a myriad of changing missions and requirements piled on top of us. I thought it best to tell the crew where I thought this was going and what impact we have made. I told them that as with any contingency operations there is that initial surge of energy and inspiration that often times gives way to frustration and tedium; I did not want them to underestimate the magnitude of what they were accomplishing each day by their hard work on the flight deck, the galley, the well deck, CIC, Radio Central (JMC), on the pier, and in the engineering spaces to support this great undertaking. Every job on the ship is important and the contribution of IWO JIMA has already been enormous.

Our contributions have been growing. Today, we opened out doors to 900-1,200 Army, National Guard, and local law enforcement personnel to take showers and get hot meals. We were getting overwhelmed. There was a steady stream of 60 to 100 every hour on the quarterdeck asking to come onboard and get refreshed. The word has obviously gotten out. One Army Captain told the Command Master Chief that his unit of 60 soldiers had come from 60 miles away because his general told him to "go to IWO JIMA and they'll take care of you." We couldn't say no.

Not satisfied with the record-setting flight operations yesterday, the flight deck team nearly doubled the number of aircraft hits. At one point the team was bringing in Army Blackhawks two at a time, one group after another in perfect sequence. It was an impressive sight to behold. Medical casualties continued to come onboard the ship, some by stretcher and ambulance, others by air or boat. After yesterday, the Medical folks reworked their procedures, so today everything flowed smoothly. Supply department has served up thousands of meals; the mess line never closes. Deck department got back to their roots and conducted boat operations and a sterngate marriage with TORTUGA's LCM-8 landing craft, moving more supplies to our sister ship. But lest we forget, the bedrock of IWO JIMA's strength lies in three simple things: electricity, air conditioning, hot water - all provided by the uncomplaining engineers.

But of all the manifold capabilities of good ship IWO JIMA, medical, logistic, and air support, our command and control capabilities have moved to the forefront. It almost sounds surreal but IWO JIMA has literally become the headquarters, the "center of the universe" for all Federal recovery efforts - DoD as well as civilian. It is on this ship that the myriad efforts have all come together. Yesterday, for the first time ever, some 17 admirals and generals got together with the Joint Task Force Commander, General Honore, face to face to coordinate the numerous and ever growing military recovery and support efforts. Today, the same cadre of admirals and generals were back onboard but this time accompanied by the civilian side. FEMA has now established their headquarters on the pier along side (and onboard IWO JIMA) to better coordinate their efforts with us. But with this has come an ever growing number of staff members embarking on the ship. Our population has grown from a crew of some 1,200 to nearly 2,500 (including several hundred guardsmen and soldiers living onboard) with all the detachments, augments, and now senior staffs. I think we are now up to one three-star, one two-star, and four one-stars embarked good ship IWO JIMA. We are bursting at the seams. We have spent the vast majority of our days taking care of and chasing down the myriad staff members. It is like herding cats, except these cats fly on and off our flight deck periodically.

I had a chance to meet Governor Blanco of Louisiana and her Lieutenant Governor today when she came onboard for the giant 1200 briefing with General Honore and were later joined by Admiral Nathman and Vice Admiral Fitzgerald. The ships Ready Room was bursting at the seams with senior officers and high officials - you had to step outside just to change your mind. I had seen the Governor on TV many times. She looked different in person: tired and worn out. She told me that she was averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night, but smiled, "I guess that's about what you get in the military." You could see the severe strain of the past weeks events. I quoted her the famous line from Churchill the night he became Prime Minister of wartime Britain, "that it was as if I were walking with Destiny, and that all of my past life had been but preparation for this moment and this trial." The recovery from the damage of Hurricane Katrina is an unprecedented trial for the Governor and many, many others. My observation is that America, throughtout her history, has always been slow to respond, but once that powerful engine gets into gear it is massive and unstoppable. I suspect this will also be the case for the Gulf Coast.It has become our tradition at the evening department head meeting to go around the room and have each person list the stupidest or silliest thing they heard or saw during the day. As you can imagine, the log book is overflowing with accounts. Yesterday it was the helos and the elephants at the zoo. Today it was me. I have been inundated with doing interviews: CNN, Pentagon press, Regina Mobley and Channel 13 news, the Boston Globe, Carla McCabe and the Army Times, and finally Greta Van Susteren. We did a spot with Greta on the pier this morning with the massive bow of IWO JIMA in the background and helos flying on and off the ship with great noise - an impressive backdrop for this puffed up officer. As I was being interviewed by Greta, a pair of Blackhawks swooped onto the flight deck sending up a great wind which blew off my ball cap. I instinctively scrambled after it before it blew into the water. When I turned around the FOX News photographer looked at me and smiled, "I got that on film."

Look for me chasing my hat down the pier on the next FOX News spot.

All the best,

RSC [Capt. Callas]

So they aren't refugees?

2005-09-12T12:00:00.002-05:00

The Rev. Jesse Jackson, commenting last Monday at the Houston Astrodome on those affected by the disaster, asserted that it was "racist to call American citizens refugees." This sentiment is being echoed by many people in the African-American community. Even President George W. Bush has weighed in, in agreement. Way to go, Dubya. GRRRR!

As a translator and word maven, it comes as complete news to me that the word "refugee" has any racist, classist or other derogatory or denigrating connotations whatsoever.

With all due respect, when's the last time any of these people cracked open a dictionary? I humbly submit the Merriam Webster Online entry for "refugee" for their consideration:

Main Entry: ref·u·gee
Pronunciation: "re-fyu-'jE, 're-fyu-"
Function: noun
Etymology: French réfugié, past participle of (se) réfugier, to take refuge, from Latin refugium: one that flees; especially [Nota bene - BUT NOT LIMITED TO]: a person who flees to a foreign country or power to escape danger or persecution.

Does any of this sound racist to you? Thought so. The people who well, fled the destruction of NOLA and the Gulf Coast in the wake of the disaster are, well, refugees. End of story. Cheese and rice! Stop the race-baiting and move on, people!

Think of the children ...

2005-09-12T11:47:00.001-05:00

No, really, I'm serious. As people funnel unprecedented amounts of money, time and treasure into relief for those affected by Hurricane Katrina, I would strongly encourage them to focus their efforts not so much on taking care of the adults, but on taking care of the children. Adults can always make their own choices and may deal with what life hands them in whatever way they choose to, but unfortunately, children don't have that same choice. Their well-being and their very lives depend utterly and completely on the good - or bad - decisions of the adults around them.

There are plenty of little ones whose lives will be affected in a much more profound and permanent manner than any grown adult who has been affected by the Katrina disaster, kids who are crying themselves to sleep every night on a strange bed in a strange city, not knowing anybody, wondering if they'll ever see their mommy or daddy again. One great thing that community shelters across the Southeast are doing, is that they are taking photos of the lone displaced kids that come in and are posting them to Missingkids.com so that family members can locate them and reunite. Missingkids.com is also encouraging families missing their kids to post as well. Many organizations involved in the relief efforts are running sub-projects focused specifically on helping kids with school placement, school supplies, and much more. If you're donating to a particular charity or organization, you can specify that you want your money to go to these things.

Wouldn't it be nice if politicians just stopped posturing and our libbie friends stopped putting down the blame finger for just a few moments and channeled more of that energy into helping the children they always chide us for not thinking of?

Blame game, no. Preparedness, yes.

2005-09-12T08:12:00.004-05:00

The much-publicized blame game for Hurricane Katrina is one of the biggest exercises in futility and wasted energy I have ever seen in my life. You may point the finger at any figure or figures you like, but the bottom line is that much of the pain and suffering was caused by a plain and simple lack of preparedness from a lot of different quarters - and could have been alleviated more quickly or avoided entirely if people were better prepared.

Though these days people have been conditioned to turn to the government to take care of more and more of their basic needs and necessities (and we are seeing the ultimate consequences of this mentality rearing their ugly head in New Orleans), let's face it, local, state and national governments can only do so much for people caught in a disaster - even under the best of circumstances when aid can reach those who need it, law and order are practiced and enforced, and optimal efficiency, coordination, and organization are in place. It is incumbent on each of us as individuals to assume personal responsibility for our own safety and well-being, take the initiative, and prepare so that we can take care of ourselves and one another and be okay when disaster strikes.

This guide has a lot of practical tips and suggestions that everybody out there can adopt, regardless of their race, ethnicity, income bracket or socioeconomic background. Preparedness, or the lack thereof, isn't a black thing. It isn't a white thing. It's a HUMAN thing. And it's time we all recognized this and acted accordingly.

Put together a plan. Memorize it. And be ready and able to implement it when the time comes. I say when, not if, because even though there probably won't be another natural weather-related disaster on the same scale as Katrina in our lifetime, there WILL be other hurricanes, as well as tornadoes, floods and fires, a major quake in southern California at some point in the future, and terrorist attacks.

None of which will give a damn what color their victims are, by the way. The levees and the flooding didn't care what color(s) the people of New Orleans were. To assert that NOLA wasn't saved because it's a black town, is simply ridiculous. No one in their rational mind can argue, given New Orleans' rich, complex history and heritage, its economic value as a huge tourism draw and the Gulf region's largest and most critical shipping port, its strategic value as the location for most major American petroleum and chemical refineries, etc. etc. that the federal government and all the people outside of NOLA who were watching this tragedy unfold were thinking "Oh, my stars. These great black unwashed and their silly, silly antics. Pish-tosh! A glass of Veuve, my good man, to wet my privileged white whistle as I fiddle while Rome burns!!" To say that the NOLA disaster was a black thing is just plain race-baiting, and vastly oversimplifies the situation and diverts the focus from what the real problem is. How about taking a look at the corrupt officials who figuratively stood dithering in the highway for days, never implemented their own damn evac plan and basically told the victims "Screw you, yer on yer own" before and after they issued the initial evac order and the levees broke. The disaster, although huge proportions of blacks engaged in all areas of human activity were involved because it's a mostly black town demographically speaking, was NOT a RACISM thing. It was an INEPTITUDE, UNPREPAREDNESS, and STUPIDITY (stupidity on the part of politicians at all levels, that is) thing.

2005-09-07T22:25:00.001-05:00

Man thatch ...

Please, somebody tell me I'm not the only woman on earth who likes man thatch.

In case you have no earthly idea what I mean by "man thatch" (which is likely because it has been out of style for quite a few years now), I'm speaking of male body hair. Although profuse back hair is a bit much (and this much hairiness is just a hair over the top, so to speak - I'd hate to be vacuuming his shedded hairs up and cleaning them out of the shower and sink drains every damn day), in my humble, red-blooded-man-lovin' opinion, there is nothing, and I mean nothing, on God's green earth like a nice masculine hairy chest, arms, legs, etc. I mourn the death of man thatch in our culture and simply cannot get my mind around the utter perversion of the biological and gender identity order that is our current sick standard of male beauty, the Smooth Man. Want me to give you a concrete example of what I'm talking about? Brad Pitt. He's the epitome of the Smooth Man standard. (Remember Troy? Brad didn't have even blond body hair. And Achilles was of Mediterranean descent! That was just wrong.) And all Hollywood actors are being forced to conform to the template. Even the ones you just know would have some nice, healthy, sexy man thatch when they aren't working on a movie (like Mel Gibson, George Clooney, and Bruce Willis) are forced to wax from here to there or it's digitally eliminated. When's the last time you saw any man on the movie or TV screens with thatch? And it was portrayed in a positive light? Thought so. (Go see The 40-Year-Old Virgin if you aren't convinced there's a jihad on against man thatch yet.)

The worst part of it is that the Smooth Man standard has trickled down into the mainstream and taken hold in such a way that hairy men everywhere are being forced to wax themselves to become as smooth as their women. And those who choose to buck the standard for one reason or another are forced to languish, lonely and dateless, secretly hairy in the shadows of the hairy closet. How unnatural, how wrong, how utterly messed up is that?

Look. I appreciate aesthetics as much as anybody, but I just really dig on man thatch. All hail to the Hairy Man! Down with the Smooth Man! Hairy men everywhere, be proud of your hirsuteness. If I wanted a Hairless Wonder I'd be dating a boy or a shallow metrosexual, not a man.

NEWS FLASH TO HOLLYWOOD: Stop waxing your male stars, or at least those who we know would have to be naturally hairy, and give us ladies more choice in the hairiness spectrum! You'd probably get more women in to the movie theaters to boost your sagging ticket sales. If I liked the prepubescent smooth hairless little boy look I'd be making like Michael Jackson. Hairy men = sexy! Hairy men = real men!! Hairy men = testosterone! Yum yum yum.

Thus concludes my impassioned ode to man thatch.

UPDATE: Looks like Hollywood is listening to me, haha ... this weekend I saw Just Like Heaven with Mark Ruffalo and Reese Witherspoon, and there are quite a few segments showing Mark shirtless with a deliciously abundant thatch! Wowza!

2005-09-07T20:57:00.001-05:00

Don't hate on Jude ...

OK, I'm the first to admit that I never thought Jude Law was a Babius Maximus, he makes my teeth itch and I think he's a cad, but ... taking pics of Jude or any man in the nude, then plastering those pics all over the 'bloids and proceeding to make fun of his (seemingly) small ween is going just a bit too far. C'mon, people. That's just a bit below the belt. So to speak.

If you haven't seen these infamous pics yet and are dying of curiosity to see Jude's twig n' berries, go here to see and judge for yourself whether all those cackling Eurotabloid journalists are right.

I, personally, am very reluctant to opine on the matter, but opine I shall. On the surface, it's quite possible that Jude may blow my Donger Theory right out of the water. Look at that thatch, I woulda thought he'd have more meat to go with that nice thatch. But hey, for all we know, Judie could be a grow-er, not a show-er. So don't hate on Jude, dude.

2004-10-22T00:39:00.001-05:00

Political stuff + some funnies ...

There is much that is still wonderful about America (in fact, I happen to think America is still the greatest country on earth, despite the mistakes it has made and despite what all the haters say about it), so don't get me wrong, but is anybody else out there seeing this really disturbing trend of personal irresponsibility and lack of accountability that I keep seeing? I see this as a trend stretching across all areas of American life (including pet ownership, haha) and now that November 2 is drawing nigh, it's becoming especially evident in the area of voting.

There are responsible, thoughtful citizens who have read up plenty on the candidates and have come to educated conclusions about which one best represents where they want this country to go, but so many people in the US on both sides are voting just because they "like" their candidate better and are not truly informed on the facts and the issues, or blindly voting straight-ticket or whatever without paying any attention to each candidate as an individual, because that's the way their family/race/religious affiliation/sexual orientation/gender/profession/town has voted for years and that's how they're gonna vote too, dammit. And worse, they are going to the polls without a working knowledge of the Constitution and its amendments, save what they have been *told* by politicians and pundits, which may or may not be inaccurate or misleading. It doesn't bode well for our country's future, in fact, that type of irresponsibility is downright dangerous. It really disturbs me. No, I'm not talking about Kerry supporters in particular, though the constant refrain of "Anybody but Bush" I hear coming from the Kerry side really has me worried. Even if everybody voted for Bush, I would still be highly disturbed and frightened if they all voted for him based strictly on "vibe" or because he was "cool" or whatever.

I'm going to start promoting Project Vote Smart to all my friends, as it is about the most non-partisan site I've found on the Internet that offers voters information on candidates and their campaign platforms. You type your zip code into the search engine and it gives you ALL the candidates up for a vote in your area come Nov. 2, and gives you their platforms too. Which is great, because the media has made out like the Presidential race is the only thing going on, and while it is very important, it's not the only thing going on. There are plenty of local races as well, and we should be informed on our local candidates too.

Though I'm registered with the Republican Party, I've never, ever voted straight ticket because party lines are becoming increasingly blurred, especially with regard to fiscal policy, and there are plenty of people of one party who really ought to be in the other party, or just freakin' run as an independent already if they can't bring themselves to defect completely to the "enemy camp" -- witness Zell Miller, who's a classic DINO (Democrat in Name Only) and John McCain, who's a RINO (Republican In Name Only). I've always voted based on what each candidate to offer on an individual basis. I've voted for Republicans, Libertarians, Independents, and even the occasional Democrat. Maybe I'm weird.

For those of you who are burned out on the Presidential race and need a little fun, I've got some links for ya:

1.
"For a guy who's been known derisively to the Bush crowd as 'the Breck girl,'" observes [visual artist Harry] Shearer, Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards seems 'way too interested in his hair.'"

2.
JibJab - Click on "This Land," then the follow-up, "Good to be in DC."

3.
Another funny lil' animated video.

2004-10-18T20:11:00.001-05:00

Bush-Kerry Bake-Off and the Latest on the Wee Wee War ...

As we witness the acrimonious partisan rhetoric, tacky spin and dirty tricks of this Presidential contest, let us stop, take a breath, and consider cookie-baking: a contest in which everybody comes away getting what they want, everybody wins (including our tummies and tastebuds), and nobody assembles a platoon of lawyers to take the results to the Supreme Court ...

Laura Bush's Oatmeal-Chocolate Chunk Cookies vs. Teresa Heinz Kerry's Pumpkin Spice Cookies

----o0o----
NOTE: I did do a bake-off for the two cookie recipes on Election Night and served them to my buds, who were asked to cast their vote for the recipe they liked best. Laura Bush's cookies beat Teresa Heinz Kerry's cookies hands down, even among my libbie friends who goodnaturedly conceded "defeat." Sorry, Teresa! (Then again, you can't expect scrumpdillyishus recipes from anyone who has probably never had to cook for themselves a day in their lives ... )
----o0o-----

Things with W2 have improved slightly but are still a bit dicey. I have moved his litterbox and food/water bowls to the empty guest bedroom on the upper level of my condo so now the guest BR is "his" room, and he can stay there and meet all his needs right there without having to pass by The Boyfriend to do it. This instinctive move seems to have paid off, at least on the outset, and he seems to be quite happy with this arrangement. He has hissed at me maybe 3 times in the past week or so, which is quite a positive difference from constantly. [sigh] He is also flea-free thanks to some Frontline flea drops and isn't scratching any more, so that is also helping to improve his mood. Now the fleas are biting the crap out of me, but that's OK, I'd rather have them bite me (and kill them with wanton glee) than have them infest W2, where they are extremely hard for either him or me to get to.

2004-09-28T13:51:00.001-05:00

Irresponsible pet owners, part three ... and counting ...

NICE!

From the Associated Press:

Attack Dog Sicced on Hurricane Victims

STUART, FL-September 19, 2004 — Police say a Florida man – whose job is to help people – deliberately ordered his pit bulls to attack hurricane refugees inside their office building.
Click Here for more about Hurricane Season 2004

Ryan Moore is a mental health counselor who treats anger management problems and addictions. He was arrested yesterday and charged with aggravated battery.

Police say he released his dogs with the command "go get them" while he and the others were riding out Hurricane Frances earlier this month.

One man suffered deep bites to his stomach, face, throat and hands. A woman was bitten on one leg. They called 9-1-1 – but police couldn't respond because of the storm.

This isn't Moore's first brush with the law. He's been arrested before for domestic violence, sexual assault and aggravated assault with a weapon.

(Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

2004-09-28T13:47:00.001-05:00

Irresponsible pet owners, part two ...

From MedicineNet.com:

Fatal Dog Attacks

ATLANTA & WASHINGTON--Dog bite injuries can lead to serious infections (such as tetanus and rabies), disability, deformity, and occasionally death. Most of these injuries are preventable.

The National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, and the Humane Society of the United States recently updated data on fatal dog bites for the period 1989 to 1994.

In the 6-year study published in the medical journal PEDIATRICS (Vol.97 No. 6, 891-5), Jeffrey J. Sacks, M.D. and associates reported the finding of 109 bite-related fatalities. They found that 57% of the deaths were in children under 10 years of age. 22% of the deaths involved an unrestrained dog OFF the owner's property. 18% of the deaths involved a restrained dog ON the owner's property, and 59% of the deaths involved an unrestrained dog ON the owner's property.

The researchers also found that 10% of the dog bite attacks involved sleeping infants.

The most commonly reported dog breeds involved were pit bulls (24 deaths), followed by rottweilers (16 deaths), and German shepherds (10 deaths). The authors point out that many breeds, however, are involved in the problem.

The death rate from dog bite-related fatalities (18 deaths per year) in the 6-year study period remained relatively constant compared with the prior 10 years.

The authors emphasized that "most of the factors contributing to dog bites are related to the level of responsibility exercised by dog owners."

2004-09-28T13:07:00.001-05:00

Irresponsible pet owners, part one ...

From the Monday, Sep. 27, 2004 edition of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Girl OK after pit bull attack
Dogs' owner is shot; 1 of 2 pets is killed
Charles Yoo - Staff
Monday, September 27, 2004

Mercedes Smith, 12, tried to get away from the two pit bulls that were mauling her head, a sight neighbors watched in disbelief.
"Somebody help me!" the seventh-grader yelled repeatedly.
Candice Cameron pleaded for the lives of her pets. "Don't shoot my dogs!" she said, according to witnesses.
Mercedes eventually freed herself from the dogs that other neighbors had complained about roaming without leashes. She later underwent reconstructive surgery of her ear and scalp and was in stable condition Sunday at Hughes Spalding Children's Hospital.
In the course of the commotion early Sunday morning, one dog was killed and the other eventually placed with animal control. Cameron was wounded by one of eight shots a neighbor heard fired. She is in stable condition at DeKalb Medical Center.
Police are still trying to piece together what happened, why the animals decided to attack Mercedes, how they had become loose and what the girl was doing outside after midnight. No one was arrested or charged Sunday.
"This is an ongoing investigation," said Officer Dale Davis, a spokesman for the DeKalb Police Department.
Police responded to the 911 call from the Orchard Lane condominium and apartment complex off Flat Shoals Road in Decatur, near the Gallery at South DeKalb, shortly before 1 a.m. The caller said two dogs were attacking a neighborhood girl.
Witnesses say the pit bulls, cocoa-colored and muscular, would not let go of Mercedes, who could not stand up.
The dogs, they said, only stuck to her face.
By then, a circle of shocked neighbors and family members had formed, and men whacked the dogs with sticks and poles.
Still, the animals did not budge, witnesses said.
Police identified Cameron, 28, who lives on Jackybell Trail, as the dogs' owners. Police did not say why or how Cameron got injured, particularly whether the bullet pierced her when she was defending the dogs.
"She was shot," Davis said. "We are following up on it."
Adrian Moreland, a neighbor, said he heard eights shots but didn't know who pulled the trigger.
"But somebody was shooting the dogs," he said.
Neighbors said one pit bull was shot and killed, which police could not confirm.
The other one will be monitored for the next 10 days by the county animal control department.
Lynne Reid said she could not recognize Mercedes, who is friends with Reid's 13-year-old daughter, Danielle.
"It was as if someone had poured a bucket of red paint all over her," Reid said.
The same dogs chased Danielle in the past, Reid said.
Three months ago, she called police and told an animal control officer that the pit bulls were a menace, roaming the neighborhood, she said.
"I have never seen the dogs on a leash," said Reid, adding that Mercedes' injuries were "a sight I never want to see again."

2004-09-26T16:36:00.001-05:00

All not so quiet on the Western front ...

For about a week, W2 declared a temporary cease-fire, refraining from aggression on both of us. He'd stopped hissing at The Boyfriend and me, but had also started making himself completely scarce whenever The Boyfriend was around, coming out only when he was gone, with angel-pie loving chirps and purrs for me. (In his mind, making enemies with The Boyfriend was no longer an option because the consequences weren't worth it, but making friends with him wasn't an option either because that would have meant putting down his pride, sucking up and eating humble pie, so he just took option (c) and hid.) Yesterday, I'd spent the night at The Boyfriend's and came back to my place with The Boyfriend in tow. When we walked in, W2 ran up to me in joyful greeting, then when he realized I wasn't alone, he backed off, glared at us, turned tail and and ran upstairs, so I knew he was upset, but at least he didn't hiss. A couple of times in the next few hours W2 called to me from upstairs, wanting affection but refusing to come out near The Boyfriend in order to get it, so I graciously and generously accommodated him. After a little while he came downstairs and hung out near us for a few moments without hissing. I thought, "Maybe he's finally getting used to having The Boyfriend around and he won't act up any more." Once again, way too optimistic for my own good.

The cease-fire ended fifteen minutes later when The Boyfriend and I decided to go upstairs to bed. W2 glared at The Boyfriend as he walked past, and as soon as The Boyfriend was out of the room, he turned his bile on me, hissing at me. I yelled at him, but then he started rowling, readying himself to lunge at me. I threw a glass of water at him. He got a mouthful of water in mid-rowl but didn't budge, kept rowling. I brought out the towel, but he got away before I could snap him and went under the piano so the towel wouldn't reach him. He kept hissing and howling like a banshee, no submission, instead got even angrier, eyes completely dilated, positioned to lunge at me first chance he got and I let my guard down. I kept snapping, even though I was missing and he wasn't getting any punishment except a snap of air by his ears. Finally I got him once, and he ran into the bathroom. I chased him there to get some more snaps in, intending to press on until I got a final show of submission from him. He crawled into the covered litterbox so I couldn't get him and he started rowling even louder. Suddenly he lunged out at me with claws and fangs flying, and the towel came between us so his claws lodged firmly in the towel instead of me. I yanked the towel back and forth, but instead of letting go, he hung on. I kept yelling, "You want some more? You want some MORE?!!" and the louder I yelled and the harder I yanked, the louder he rowled but the more firmly he hung on. I'm sure I pulled his claws pretty painfully, but he didn't let go, he held his ground and just kept hissing and rowling.

At that point I heard a creak behind me. It was The Boyfriend, who had quietly moved into the room to offer backup assistance if I needed it. At last, W2 showed some submission, backed off and calmed down, so I could back off too. Went to bed, W2 didn't bother us one bit. The Boyfriend spent the morning here and again W2 kept himself scarce, and as soon as he was gone, out came W2, all angel pie lovin' again.

Cheese and rice ...

2004-09-24T09:44:00.001-05:00

Mr. Picassohead ...

I've become addicted to Mr. Picassohead. It's divine for when you get bored or just feel like expressing yourself. Or making some bullsh*t art.
My greatest masterpiece.

2004-09-21T00:41:00.001-05:00

Family wisdom ...

Today I was contemplating how every family has its own special sayings. Everybody can recall at least one saying from at least one family member, that they remember because it's hysterically funny, or just really poignant and profound. It seems every family, no matter how dysfunctional, bequeaths to its members at least one gem of one sort or another, that says a lot about the family member and his/her perspective, focus and philosophy as a unique individual, but also on a more general level about life itself. I am lucky to have collected plenty of gems from my own family. :-)

My dad:
1) (On John Kerry) Anybody who votes for Kerry is a p*ssy.
2) (On Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, whom he met once) Everybody may think he's this big peace broker but he's really a big a$$hole. He was the biggest a$$hole ever to occupy the White House, other than Bill Clinton. Rosalynn is a sweetheart, though. He doesn't deserve her.
3) (On automotive care) Your car is in bad shape because you don’t take care of it [which I do but he likes to think that I don’t because it gives him a reason to benevolently hound me]. Take care of your car and it’ll take good care of you.
4) (Whenever I suffer an emotional or work-related disappointment) Piss on ‘em! Or: F*ck ‘em and feed ‘em beans!
5) (Whenever I am worried about something) If they aren’t putting bread on your table, if you have no control over it, it’s not worth worrying about. If you have control over it, then do something about it.
6) (On honesty and consistency) Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
7) (Calling me and singing the Stevie Wonder song out of tune) I just called to say I love youuuu!

My mom:
1) (On the weather) I just saw on TV that there’s a storm headed this way, I wouldn’t go out in it if I were you but be sure and take a umbrella with you if you do. [NOTE: “a umbrella” is not a typo; my mom is from Birmingham, AL and it’s the dialect.]
2) (At restaurants, looking at whatever everybody else is eating) You know that has a lot of fat in it.
3) (While grocery shopping) Don’t buy that, it has hydrogenated oil in it! That stuff’ll kill you!
4) (On a guy I was once interested in, who said he wanted to go out with me at one point but had a conflict because he was taking his mom out for coffee, whom he hadn’t seen in a while) He doesn't want to date you because he’s too busy dating his mother.
5) (On Wee2) Wee Wee doesn’t like your boyfriend because he thinks he's your boyfriend.
6) (On Sundays) Have you gone to Mass today, honey? Make sure you go to Mass today, please.
7) (When people let me down) Just offer it up and pray for them. God sees what you are suffering and will turn it into something.
8) (On parental love) All I want is for you to be happy. Your happiness is my happiness, and when your heart breaks, my heart breaks too.
9) (On our relationship) You're my best friend.
10) (A classic of moms everywhere - said whenever I tell her to stop nagging me about things) You'll never understand until you have a child of your own!
11) (On motherhood) I was never happier than when I was pregnant.
12) (More on motherhood) Your daddy and I were so filled with joy the day you were born and you have brought us nothing but joy ever since.

My brother:
1) (On dating) Don’t give it all up at once! Leave something in the bank, for God’s sake!
2) (On disappointments) Screw me once, f*ck you. Screw me twice, f*ck me.
3) (On driving) Either lead, follow, or get out of the f*cking way.

2004-09-20T01:15:00.002-05:00

The Donger Theory ...

Based on my own personal experience and that of my girlfriends (whose "field research" I would say has covered a fairly broad cross-section of the population ... not that we're rampaging sluts or anything, but we're all in our mid-thirties and dated enough men by now to know a thing or two), I've developed my own little personal theory about donger size. Contrary to the popular belief that one can tell the size of a man's twig n' berries by the length and width of his fingers, or by his shoe size, these are not, in fact, reliable indicators of donger size. To me, a guy's build and/or hair placement and quantity (on scalp as well as on rest of body) are far more reliable indicators as to whether a man's hung like a light switch - or a tripod. Of course, there are always exceptions, which adds to the fun of it all, I suppose, but anyway.

In a nutshell (pun not intended),

- short and skinny build = little donger.
- tall and skinny build = biiiig donger (we’re talking long and thick).
- Short with muscular build or tall with muscular build = Could go either way. If he's naturally muscular, he’s going to be “capable” at worst, but if he’s not naturally muscular and “manly” and had to work out like a maniac to get there, you can betcha he's got a pretty teeny peeny.
- Tall, not muscular, but stocky all over like a linebacker = hung like a pencil eraser. See above.

Note: If you're dealing with a gentleman who is just kind of average and doesn't really fit into any of the above categories, optimal body hair placement will always tip the balance toward healthy endowment. Usually when a guy is bald and hairy (has a chest thatch, treasure trail, and back hair), you can be sure he’s got a pretty decent-sized donger. It has to do with testosterone levels.
And when it comes down to a long skinny vs. a short fatty, most ladies agree: We prefer a short fatty (Coke can) to a long skinny any day of the week. On the other hand, there is something to be said for a long skinny that can tap a lucky lady's cervix from the next area code.

I've never conducted an active study of ball size, which I kind of feel bad about. I feel sorry for balls, they’re the neglected country cousins of the donger, which gets all the attention. Anybody with more ball experience out there care to contribute anything about ball size?

2004-09-20T00:28:00.001-05:00

The Latest on the Wee Wee War ...

Well, this weekend was a *bit* better. Friday night W2 was very good in terms of not hissing or trying to attack The Boyfriend or me, and spent the night with us in my bedroom with no incident. No attacking us in the bed or nailing either one of us with claws and fangs as we slept - in fact, he was a complete angel pie, purring and licking me when I petted him. However, he was extremely nervous and washed himself every five minutes ALL night long, which kept us up all night, because when he washes himself he makes these really loud SMACK SMACK SMACK noises which can be heard in the next room. By dawn we were both quite irritated, The Boyfriend mumbled "F*cking cat" and I snapped a stuffed animal at W2 to get him to stop washing himself or at least get off the damn bed and let us sleep if he wasn't going to sleep himself, which I felt bad about because I didn't want W2 to feel like he couldn't sleep with me any more. He hissed at me and I had to snap the stuffed bunny at him 3 times before he stopped hissing and jumped off the bed and went somewhere else. The rest of the weekend he pretty much hid from us, but this morning he hissed at The Boyfriend again and out came the towel and more snapping of W2 until he stopped hissing and backed down.

Normally W2 has the same sleep schedule as I do, and sleeps when I sleep and is awake when I'm awake, and I never have a problem with him keeping me up. But this was my first night back at home in nearly 3 days, I'd been waiting out Hurricane Ivan at The Boyfriend's place and had left W2 at my place by himself. So I suspect he had been seriously wigged out by the hurricane and my absence during the hurricane, and his sleep schedule got all messed up because I wasn't there to "cue" him.

Yeah, I know, stop making excuses for W2 and being such a freakin' enabler.

Last night The Boyfriend/Marlboro Man revealed to a friend of mine who was inquiring on the progress made in the W2 War that he has shot cats on his family's ranch for lesser offenses than what W2 has committed. Lovely!
[sigh]

2004-09-15T01:31:00.002-05:00

Just won the battle - we'll see if I've won the Wee Wee War ...

Saturday was the first time The Boyfriend had come over to my place since the last journal entry. W2 hissed at him a couple of times on Saturday but nothing more aggressive than that, and not enough in my estimation to warrant beating on him to show him who was boss. He even slept in the bed with us without incident, and was a little angel pie when I scratched his head and cuddled him in the middle of the night, purring and licking me and making his little “kitty love me” sounds. I even indulged myself in thoughts that we might even be turning a corner in our little situation and W2 was maybe finally getting used to The Boyfriend. Turns out he was just waiting for his chance to attack.

In the morning (Sunday) The Boyfriend hopped out of bed, went downstairs and started making me breakfast while I sat upstairs in my office doing a bit of work. W2 was okay with The Boyfriend staying in my bed, but didn’t like him actually moving around “his territory.” So he followed him into the kitchen and started howling at him like never before, truly a hair-raising banshee cry from the bowels of hell. Even my mom, who was on the phone with me when Wee Wee started howling, heard the sound as it drifted up from downstairs and said, “What the heck is that!?! What’s going on over there?!!!” She didn’t even realize it was W2 howling, because it didn’t even sound like a cat’s howl. He was out to create some real damage. He lunged at The Boyfriend, who quickly sidestepped him and yelled for me to come quick. I put the phone down, grabbed a hand towel, ran downstairs, ran up to W2 and, staring into his eyes the whole time without glancing away from him to show that I was the dominant cat, snapped the living cr*p out of him with the towel as hard as I could, again, and again, and again, and again, chasing him all the way upstairs with it, snapping him 3 times on the stairs, and yelling at him at the top of my lungs nonstop. Every few feet W2 stopped, turned back, crouched and hissed and tried to challenge me to let me know he wasn’t going to be towel-snapped into submission, and would have lunged at me probably if I hadn’t had the towel, but I kept yelling, chasing and snapping his arse all the way into the guest bedroom, snapped him hard a few times in the guest bedroom for good measure, and slammed the door and locked him up. Then I calmly picked the phone back up, and my momma was still hanging on the line waiting for me. She had heard the commotion as it was taking place and asked in her Alabama accent, “So, did you beat on him?? Sounds like you did good!”

Two hours later, I let W2 out of the bedroom. I was expecting him to be really ornery, but he followed me into my office meowing, acting completely normally, and loving on me like nothing had ever happened!!!!!!! The rest of the day, all Sunday night and all Monday morning, for as long as The Boyfriend was still here W2 hid in a new “undisclosed location” that I haven’t been able to figure out. The minute The Boyfriend left yesterday, W2 emerged from wherever his hiding place is, and started loving on me again, and was all up in my face for the rest of the day like white on rice, seeking out my lap every fifteen minutes.

Crazy godd*mn cat.

2004-09-08T17:25:00.002-05:00

So. I'm "pussy"-whipped by my cat ...

Yeah, that's right. "Pussy-whipped" by Wee Wee.

Had lunch with a girlfriend of mine this afternoon and this is the unsettling reality that is staring me in the face now that I've conferred with her on the W2 problem. Being a longtime cat owner herself, she had some things to say about the situation and gave me what sounded like some pretty good advice. I'd at least give it an A+ for novelty. This is how the sista broke it down:

1. The whole W2 issue is a dominant cat/submissive cat thing.
He sees himself as the dominant cat/alpha cat/boss and me as the submissive cat, even though I’m his “mother”/food supply.

2. Now that I'm spending a lot more time away from W2, bringing The Boyfriend in the picture, etc., W2 feels very threatened and encroached upon and is losing control of his territory - and losing control of ME - and that's what he is upset about.

3. The power structure has gotten this way because I don’t physically discipline him and show him who’s boss. Evidently, cats do need to be physically disciplined on occasion when they act up, and the cat behaviourists' argument that cats aren't like dogs and don’t respond to physical discipline/restraint and respond only to verbal discipline is just wrong. And no, W2 won't hate and fear me like these so-called cat "experts" say he will if I smack him up a bit. She has always smacked up her bitches, er, felines whenever they've acted up and they never started hating and fearing her. So I shouldn’t be afraid to resort to physical discipline. After all, that’s what the dominant cat does to the submissive cat to stay in control.

4. When W2 dug his claw into my temple, what I should have done was, I should have chased him and smacked his furry arse, but I didn’t. Instead, I yelled at him and slammed the office door. This signalled to him that it was okay for him to make me his bitch and smack me up because there would be no consequences. And when he nailed my hand twice, I should have really given him a whupping but again, I did not, I yelled at him instead, and of course he didn't give a damn that I yelled at him. Big whoop. Now, if I make it hurt, that'll get his attention.

5. Next time The Boyfriend comes over and W2 starts getting postal on him, The Boyfriend must do absolutely nothing because it’s between me and W2 ... to quote Dr. Evil and Austin Powers, “this time, it’s personal.” What I need to do is make sure The Boyfriend does not react at all, and leave all the reacting and disciplining to me and I will just have to go “operational” on him, enough to cause a little bit of pain, and I must do this every time he shows aggression. If The Boyfriend gets involved in this it will just confuse and enrage W2 so that he lashes out at me. All the water-squirting, hand-smacking, towel-snapping, arse-kicking, etc. has to come from me, even if it's because he’s attacked The Boyfriend and not me.

6. It will take a few weeks for him to get it in his head that *I* am the dominant cat and *he* has to be submissive and share me, because he’s been the dominant cat for 10 years, but he will eventually get used to the new power structure and calm down and learn to share me with The Boyfriend, as long as I continue patiently and determinedly in this fashion.

Although The Boyfriend has been coming up with ideas on what to do, which is great, it’s basically on me now, which is fine with me. In fact, I prefer it that way since it’s my cat anyway and he shouldn't have to deal with this at all. I’m not afraid of W2. The cat can scratch the hell out of me and it may hurt like a bitch, but the little arsehole won't and can't kill me, and there's always Neosporin and Band-Aids.

Right now the little angel pie is sprawled across my lap trying to take up as much room as possible and keeping me from typing.

[sigh]

2004-09-01T22:31:00.002-05:00

Wee Wee has gone postal ...

I think I'll kick off this blog with a little passage about the havoc my cat has been wreaking lately in my home sweet home. I have had my cat, Wee Wee, for 10 years since he was a kitten.

More on him at my Web page.

Now, W2 has always been rabidly crotchety, territorial, and possessive throughout the years. With me, he's always been a complete angel pie (until fairly recently), but as for anybody who is a close friend or loved one, he gets very aggressive toward them, always hissing and rowling at them, even rushing them and attacking them with claws flying, mostly unprovoked - he just goes after them, no fear. So basically I have to lock him up whenever I have guests over or host one of my parties. Otherwise my peeps and homies would have to strap on the leg guards and Kevlar vests whenever they come over to visit. He has severely scratched, bitten and terrorized friends of mine, literally run a roommate out of the house, and even bit the crap out of my mom's hand once when she attempted to feed him a cat treat. I have attempted twice through the years to get him a playmate, and both times it was a disaster and I had to give the new cat away. (He terrorized the first cat to the point where he quite literally scared the piss out of her every single day, all over the house, and with the second, a kitten, he didn't attack her, but he did go on a hunger strike and refused to eat for days until I gave her to a friend of mine. Drama queen.)

Curiously, however, he has never acted aggressively toward service repairmen, one-time visitors, or any of the guys I have dated over the years, not even toward the basket case my friends and I affectionately refer to as Train Wreck Craig (my last boyfriend, who was a raging alcoholic and, well, a train wreck ... TWC lived with me for all of 3 months till I could endure his obnoxiousness no more and kicked him out, and I am sure W2 must have positively loathed having him around). I guess because W2 knew they wouldn't be sticking around and his position as "Man" of the House was safe, at least for the long term.

But, now that I have a New Boyfriend who a) happens to be sticking around and b) seems to be a keeper, W2 has gone completely postal, and I don't quite know what to do.

The second or third night The Boyfriend spent over at my place, W2 lunged at him, intending to do serious harm. Fortunately, The Boyfriend's combat training picked up in Air Force Special Operations and his quick reflexes, which fortunately happen to be even quicker than Wee Wee's, enabled him to smoothly sidestep the lunge, avoiding contact with W2's claws and fangs and a gorefest worthy of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The implacable W2 then positioned himself under my bed, rowling and hissing loudly at The Boyfriend like I'd never heard before. I handed The Boyfriend a glass of water to throw at him and W2 got a mouthful of water in mid-rowl: "ROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWfffffhhhhttttthhhpphtth." Then after The Boyfriend left, I walked into my office to start my workday, and W2 hopped on my desk for the usual morning-love ritual (where he butts my face with his head affectionately and licks me and purrs). However, instead of the morning love, I received a claw deep in my left temple.

I got a bit panicky at that point because he'd never done anything like that before. I got on the phone with the vet to see if they would recommend a cat behaviourist. They said that the cat behaviourist wouldn't see my cat unless he got a clean bill of health from them first. I was SOL here because I haven't taken W2 to the vet to update his shots for three years - the last time I was over there he attacked the vet and for revenge, he slapped me with a $300 bill - and I wasn't about to take W2's furry arse over there again any time soon, for either his punishment or mine, especially since he is a 100% indoor cat and never goes outside anyway. They recommended that I stop by the clinic and pick up this cat pheromone diffuser from them that supposedly "worked miracles" with calming stressed cats down and curbing aggressive behaviour, especially when a new person was introduced into the home. So I shelled out $80 for two of these suckers because I have a two-level home and they told me I needed one on each level.

Did they work? Of course not! Two days later, W2 again attempted to rush The Boyfriend and deeply clawed my right hand and arm when I tried to calm him down. That night, as The Boyfriend and I were peacefully sleeping, W2 positioned himself like a gargoyle from hell on the headboard above our heads, rowling ominously at both of us and threatening to jump down on us and rip us both to shreds at the slightest move or sound from us. I just muttered, "Shut up, Wee Wee" and went back to sleep. Then I moved my hand in my sleep, and Wee Wee nailed my hand in the same place he'd nailed me earlier that evening. BITCH!!!

The Boyfriend hasn't been back at my place since, not because he's afraid of W2, but because he's afraid of what he'd do to W2 if he attacks me or him again. I gave The Boyfriend authorization to kick some feline arse (as long as he did not break any bones or damage any vital organs, because for the reasons mentioned above, I just really, really don't want to have to take W2 to the vet) because in my opinion, that is just what he needs right now. I don't care what cat behaviourists say about cats not responding to physical discipline like dogs do. W2 needs to be taken down to the corner of Kick Butt and Whoop Arse and it's gonna go down pretty soon ... To be continued ...