The Donger Theory ...
Based on my own personal experience and that of my girlfriends (whose "field research" I would say has covered a fairly broad cross-section of the population ... not that we're rampaging sluts or anything, but we're all in our mid-thirties and dated enough men by now to know a thing or two), I've developed my own little personal theory about donger size. Contrary to the popular belief that one can tell the size of a man's twig n' berries by the length and width of his fingers, or by his shoe size, these are not, in fact, reliable indicators of donger size. To me, a guy's build and/or hair placement and quantity (on scalp as well as on rest of body) are far more reliable indicators as to whether a man's hung like a light switch - or a tripod. Of course, there are always exceptions, which adds to the fun of it all, I suppose, but anyway.
In a nutshell (pun not intended),
- short and skinny build = little donger.
- tall and skinny build = biiiig donger (we’re talking long and thick).
- Short with muscular build or tall with muscular build = Could go either way. If he's naturally muscular, he’s going to be “capable” at worst, but if he’s not naturally muscular and “manly” and had to work out like a maniac to get there, you can betcha he's got a pretty teeny peeny.
- Tall, not muscular, but stocky all over like a linebacker = hung like a pencil eraser. See above.
Note: If you're dealing with a gentleman who is just kind of average and doesn't really fit into any of the above categories, optimal body hair placement will always tip the balance toward healthy endowment. Usually when a guy is bald and hairy (has a chest thatch, treasure trail, and back hair), you can be sure he’s got a pretty decent-sized donger. It has to do with testosterone levels.
And when it comes down to a long skinny vs. a short fatty, most ladies agree: We prefer a short fatty (Coke can) to a long skinny any day of the week. On the other hand, there is something to be said for a long skinny that can tap a lucky lady's cervix from the next area code.
I've never conducted an active study of ball size, which I kind of feel bad about. I feel sorry for balls, they’re the neglected country cousins of the donger, which gets all the attention. Anybody with more ball experience out there care to contribute anything about ball size?
Based on my own personal experience and that of my girlfriends (whose "field research" I would say has covered a fairly broad cross-section of the population ... not that we're rampaging sluts or anything, but we're all in our mid-thirties and dated enough men by now to know a thing or two), I've developed my own little personal theory about donger size. Contrary to the popular belief that one can tell the size of a man's twig n' berries by the length and width of his fingers, or by his shoe size, these are not, in fact, reliable indicators of donger size. To me, a guy's build and/or hair placement and quantity (on scalp as well as on rest of body) are far more reliable indicators as to whether a man's hung like a light switch - or a tripod. Of course, there are always exceptions, which adds to the fun of it all, I suppose, but anyway.
In a nutshell (pun not intended),
- short and skinny build = little donger.
- tall and skinny build = biiiig donger (we’re talking long and thick).
- Short with muscular build or tall with muscular build = Could go either way. If he's naturally muscular, he’s going to be “capable” at worst, but if he’s not naturally muscular and “manly” and had to work out like a maniac to get there, you can betcha he's got a pretty teeny peeny.
- Tall, not muscular, but stocky all over like a linebacker = hung like a pencil eraser. See above.
Note: If you're dealing with a gentleman who is just kind of average and doesn't really fit into any of the above categories, optimal body hair placement will always tip the balance toward healthy endowment. Usually when a guy is bald and hairy (has a chest thatch, treasure trail, and back hair), you can be sure he’s got a pretty decent-sized donger. It has to do with testosterone levels.
And when it comes down to a long skinny vs. a short fatty, most ladies agree: We prefer a short fatty (Coke can) to a long skinny any day of the week. On the other hand, there is something to be said for a long skinny that can tap a lucky lady's cervix from the next area code.
I've never conducted an active study of ball size, which I kind of feel bad about. I feel sorry for balls, they’re the neglected country cousins of the donger, which gets all the attention. Anybody with more ball experience out there care to contribute anything about ball size?
Labels: donger theory, penis size
2 Comments:
At 9:37 AM, Anonymous said…
Hello, I just read your 'donger theory' and am delighted to let you know that I have a really thick 'fatty' with an enormous purple mushroom head AND I live in metro Atlanta - Sandy Springs to be exact. If you're on the northside and would like to partake of this delight, post a blog entry and I'll be in touch.
At 10:07 AM, Lucrezia Borgia said…
Anonymous,
Well, I'm delighted *for* you! Alas, however, I shall elect to pass on your magic mushroom, because I am happily engaged and have my very own live-in portobello to enjoy (note I said portobello, not porcini). I'm sure you'll find some ladies out there who would be glad to take a trip on your 'shroom. :-) Good luck!
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