Shaq's got a badge!

This is fabulous! Shaquille O'Neal has been sworn in as a reserve officer with the Miami Beach Police Department.

"Shaquille O'Neal was sworn in as a reserve police officer Thursday, with the Miami Heat center choosing to skip a public event in favor of a quiet, no-frills ceremony.
" 'Officer O'Neal is very considerate toward the other officers, and he was afraid if he was there he would have taken away from that moment for other officers,' department spokesman Robert Hernandez said. 'This is a very special time for them and their families.'
"The former Laker was a reserve officer in Los Angeles before moving to South Florida. He spent the past year training as a Miami Beach police reserve officer and can now add the $1-a-year salary to his $100 million, 5-year contract with the Heat.
"The 7-foot-1 player will be able to carry a gun, wear a badge and make arrests, but with his celebrity status he most likely will not walk a beat or go undercover. He will work as time permits in the volunteer position.
"O'Neal has said he is most interested in working with the special victims detective unit to help stop crimes against children."

Woo! Here's an invention whose time has come!

(WARNING: If you're an XY chromo, you may want to refrain from reading this entry. Trust me on this one.)

Introducing ... the Diva Cup!

A competitor is the The Keeper.

If there are any women out there who are brave enough to road-test these items, do let me know. Part of me is actually extremely intrigued by the concept and seriously tempted to try one of them out myself, since my Auntie Flo is probably enough to rival the gallonage of Niagara Falls and wreaks all manner of horrific logistical and laundry-related havoc every month. I probably buy enough Tampax and Always to pay the salaries of their CEOs and put their brats through an Ivy League college. I enjoy being a woman, and all that it entails ... except for this one aspect of it. I just can't deal with the monthly. Yes, I know what some of my female friends out there are thinking. I've been brainwashed; instead of embracing, honoring and celebrating this special, magical, powerful badge of womanhood, I am buying into the "dirtyization" of the menses by our patriarchal culture. Well, if you had an Auntie Flo like MY Auntie Flo, I guarantee you that you'd be kvetching too!

Now if you're an XY chromo and cringing at this information, TOUGH! Told ya to stop reading.