All not so quiet on the Western front ...

For about a week, W2 declared a temporary cease-fire, refraining from aggression on both of us. He'd stopped hissing at The Boyfriend and me, but had also started making himself completely scarce whenever The Boyfriend was around, coming out only when he was gone, with angel-pie loving chirps and purrs for me. (In his mind, making enemies with The Boyfriend was no longer an option because the consequences weren't worth it, but making friends with him wasn't an option either because that would have meant putting down his pride, sucking up and eating humble pie, so he just took option (c) and hid.) Yesterday, I'd spent the night at The Boyfriend's and came back to my place with The Boyfriend in tow. When we walked in, W2 ran up to me in joyful greeting, then when he realized I wasn't alone, he backed off, glared at us, turned tail and and ran upstairs, so I knew he was upset, but at least he didn't hiss. A couple of times in the next few hours W2 called to me from upstairs, wanting affection but refusing to come out near The Boyfriend in order to get it, so I graciously and generously accommodated him. After a little while he came downstairs and hung out near us for a few moments without hissing. I thought, "Maybe he's finally getting used to having The Boyfriend around and he won't act up any more." Once again, way too optimistic for my own good.

The cease-fire ended fifteen minutes later when The Boyfriend and I decided to go upstairs to bed. W2 glared at The Boyfriend as he walked past, and as soon as The Boyfriend was out of the room, he turned his bile on me, hissing at me. I yelled at him, but then he started rowling, readying himself to lunge at me. I threw a glass of water at him. He got a mouthful of water in mid-rowl but didn't budge, kept rowling. I brought out the towel, but he got away before I could snap him and went under the piano so the towel wouldn't reach him. He kept hissing and howling like a banshee, no submission, instead got even angrier, eyes completely dilated, positioned to lunge at me first chance he got and I let my guard down. I kept snapping, even though I was missing and he wasn't getting any punishment except a snap of air by his ears. Finally I got him once, and he ran into the bathroom. I chased him there to get some more snaps in, intending to press on until I got a final show of submission from him. He crawled into the covered litterbox so I couldn't get him and he started rowling even louder. Suddenly he lunged out at me with claws and fangs flying, and the towel came between us so his claws lodged firmly in the towel instead of me. I yanked the towel back and forth, but instead of letting go, he hung on. I kept yelling, "You want some more? You want some MORE?!!" and the louder I yelled and the harder I yanked, the louder he rowled but the more firmly he hung on. I'm sure I pulled his claws pretty painfully, but he didn't let go, he held his ground and just kept hissing and rowling.

At that point I heard a creak behind me. It was The Boyfriend, who had quietly moved into the room to offer backup assistance if I needed it. At last, W2 showed some submission, backed off and calmed down, so I could back off too. Went to bed, W2 didn't bother us one bit. The Boyfriend spent the morning here and again W2 kept himself scarce, and as soon as he was gone, out came W2, all angel pie lovin' again.

Cheese and rice ...

The Latest on the Wee Wee War ...

Well, this weekend was a *bit* better. Friday night W2 was very good in terms of not hissing or trying to attack The Boyfriend or me, and spent the night with us in my bedroom with no incident. No attacking us in the bed or nailing either one of us with claws and fangs as we slept - in fact, he was a complete angel pie, purring and licking me when I petted him. However, he was extremely nervous and washed himself every five minutes ALL night long, which kept us up all night, because when he washes himself he makes these really loud SMACK SMACK SMACK noises which can be heard in the next room. By dawn we were both quite irritated, The Boyfriend mumbled "F*cking cat" and I snapped a stuffed animal at W2 to get him to stop washing himself or at least get off the damn bed and let us sleep if he wasn't going to sleep himself, which I felt bad about because I didn't want W2 to feel like he couldn't sleep with me any more. He hissed at me and I had to snap the stuffed bunny at him 3 times before he stopped hissing and jumped off the bed and went somewhere else. The rest of the weekend he pretty much hid from us, but this morning he hissed at The Boyfriend again and out came the towel and more snapping of W2 until he stopped hissing and backed down.

Normally W2 has the same sleep schedule as I do, and sleeps when I sleep and is awake when I'm awake, and I never have a problem with him keeping me up. But this was my first night back at home in nearly 3 days, I'd been waiting out Hurricane Ivan at The Boyfriend's place and had left W2 at my place by himself. So I suspect he had been seriously wigged out by the hurricane and my absence during the hurricane, and his sleep schedule got all messed up because I wasn't there to "cue" him.

Yeah, I know, stop making excuses for W2 and being such a freakin' enabler.

Last night The Boyfriend/Marlboro Man revealed to a friend of mine who was inquiring on the progress made in the W2 War that he has shot cats on his family's ranch for lesser offenses than what W2 has committed. Lovely!
[sigh]

Just won the battle - we'll see if I've won the Wee Wee War ...

Saturday was the first time The Boyfriend had come over to my place since the last journal entry. W2 hissed at him a couple of times on Saturday but nothing more aggressive than that, and not enough in my estimation to warrant beating on him to show him who was boss. He even slept in the bed with us without incident, and was a little angel pie when I scratched his head and cuddled him in the middle of the night, purring and licking me and making his little “kitty love me” sounds. I even indulged myself in thoughts that we might even be turning a corner in our little situation and W2 was maybe finally getting used to The Boyfriend. Turns out he was just waiting for his chance to attack.

In the morning (Sunday) The Boyfriend hopped out of bed, went downstairs and started making me breakfast while I sat upstairs in my office doing a bit of work. W2 was okay with The Boyfriend staying in my bed, but didn’t like him actually moving around “his territory.” So he followed him into the kitchen and started howling at him like never before, truly a hair-raising banshee cry from the bowels of hell. Even my mom, who was on the phone with me when Wee Wee started howling, heard the sound as it drifted up from downstairs and said, “What the heck is that!?! What’s going on over there?!!!” She didn’t even realize it was W2 howling, because it didn’t even sound like a cat’s howl. He was out to create some real damage. He lunged at The Boyfriend, who quickly sidestepped him and yelled for me to come quick. I put the phone down, grabbed a hand towel, ran downstairs, ran up to W2 and, staring into his eyes the whole time without glancing away from him to show that I was the dominant cat, snapped the living cr*p out of him with the towel as hard as I could, again, and again, and again, and again, chasing him all the way upstairs with it, snapping him 3 times on the stairs, and yelling at him at the top of my lungs nonstop. Every few feet W2 stopped, turned back, crouched and hissed and tried to challenge me to let me know he wasn’t going to be towel-snapped into submission, and would have lunged at me probably if I hadn’t had the towel, but I kept yelling, chasing and snapping his arse all the way into the guest bedroom, snapped him hard a few times in the guest bedroom for good measure, and slammed the door and locked him up. Then I calmly picked the phone back up, and my momma was still hanging on the line waiting for me. She had heard the commotion as it was taking place and asked in her Alabama accent, “So, did you beat on him?? Sounds like you did good!”

Two hours later, I let W2 out of the bedroom. I was expecting him to be really ornery, but he followed me into my office meowing, acting completely normally, and loving on me like nothing had ever happened!!!!!!! The rest of the day, all Sunday night and all Monday morning, for as long as The Boyfriend was still here W2 hid in a new “undisclosed location” that I haven’t been able to figure out. The minute The Boyfriend left yesterday, W2 emerged from wherever his hiding place is, and started loving on me again, and was all up in my face for the rest of the day like white on rice, seeking out my lap every fifteen minutes.

Crazy godd*mn cat.